


Almost Famous

by ArkStationsLibrary



Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drinking, Drug Use, typical rockstar shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-04-14 19:46:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4577562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArkStationsLibrary/pseuds/ArkStationsLibrary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of her Mother, Kate Fuller embarks on a summer with her roadie dad, Jacob, her brother Scott, and the hottest rising rock group in the country Los Hermanos Geckos. Seth Gecko-still reeling from his breakup with his manager and longtime girlfriend Vanessa-takes an interest in his tour bus drivers cute, young daughter. That is until Kate discovers his secret drug habit. And decides that since she couldn't save her mother she damn well is going to try to save him. Even if she's a pain in his ass. And Seth thinks maybe he might just let her because at least she's a CUTE pain in the ass. Or he might leave her at the next rest stop on their tour.<br/>He still hasn't decided yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Viper Room

**Author's Note:**

> The song played is "Congregation" by Foo Fighters.

Chapter One  
Kate Fuller reluctantly strolled through the airport with her younger brother, Scott, who practically ran up ahead. She didn’t sleep much on the plane to Los Angeles. Instead, she just kept on thinking about the funeral. Jenny Fuller was laid to rest only a week ago and Kate’s heart felt like it was going to explode. Every time she tried to talk, it swelled. So she didn’t talk. She just kept quiet because she had to keep things together. 

For her brother, because he was the baby of the family. She had to keep things together for her Aunt, who’d been a mess at the funeral. Now she had to keep quiet because she was about to see her long, lost father person. 

Or, as Kate liked to call Jacob Fuller, the sperm donor. Since he’d never been around really except for maybe birthdays and Christmas. He’d been a product of her Moms rebellious youth phase when she’d spent a summer following The Grateful Dead around on a tour bus back in her college days. They’d tried to make it work, even adopting Scott, but ultimately Jacob was a roadie at heart. 

“A rambler” he’d called himself. 

Kate thought it was bullshit but again, kept quiet. 

Jacob Fuller stood waiting by the luggage carousel, his hands shoved in his raggedy jean pockets. If Kate hadn’t known he was her Dad she would have thought he was a homeless guy. He had longish grey hair and she could smell the alcohol on him before she got there. She fiddled anxiously with the cross necklace Mama had given her and forced herself to keep on walking. 

“Dad!” Scott shouts as he runs into Jacobs’s arms. 

“Hey there, Scott?” he says, patting him on the shoulders. “How’s my boy? You sure have gotten tall.” 

“It’s all the lacrosse I’ve been doing,” Scott says. 

Kate rolls her eyes. “Lacrosse doesn’t make you tall, Scott.” 

“Shut up. Whatever. You’re just jealous because I’m awesome and the only thing that happened to you this year was that you got caught by Mom kissing Kyle in church.” 

She glares. “Seriously, Scott?” 

Jacob raises an eyebrow. “Who’s Kyle?” 

“No one.” It comes out harsher then she intended but she can’t help but be mad at him. He’s missed most of her life. Even worse, he’d missed the funeral because there had been a “gig” and he hadn’t been able to make it. 

Despite the fact that he drove a rock bands tour bus for a living. 

Her father frowns but quickly hides it with a smile. “You kids hungry? How about a bite to eat?” 

“Good, I’m starved,” says Scott, “can we do Mexican?” 

“Sure, sure. Then I’ll take you by rehearsal to meet the band. We’re in Los Angeles for the night and then we’ll be headed out again tomorrow morning.” 

“What about school?” Kate asks. “We start in a month. It’s my senior year. I can’t spend it on the road.” 

“Don’t worry, Katie Cakes. We’ll get you sorted out. Other roadies have their kids with them too. They’ve got tutors. No worries.” He smiles at her but Kate stares blankly at him. “C’mon. Let’s head out.” 

He gestures to their bags that he grabbed for them earlier and the three of them set off. Kate doesn’t remember lunch. She sits through it texting Kyle, whose replies are halfhearted at best. She wonders how long it will be before he’ll be making out with Shelly Sommers in the back of the church. Probably not long. 

Rehearsal takes place at a club called The Viper Room. The exterior of the building is black and the interior is black too, dimly lit except for the stage. Kate can hear shouting from the back room. 

“Jesus Christ Vanessa, what the hell were you thinking? Rehab?” a male voice shouts. 

“I was thinking that your brother is a goddamned drug addict, Seth, and he needs help!” A pretty brunette storms from the backroom onto the floor. “We found heroin in our room last night! Do you know what would have happened if it had been the hotel maids? That story would have been leaked to the press in five seconds.” 

A tall man runs into the room with livid looking dark eyes. He has a tattoo of flames that lick his strong, muscled arms and his dark hair is a mess. “Shit Vanessa, just don’t go through my personal stuff then. What were you looking for anyway?” 

Vanessa sighs. “Santanico told me about the ring.” 

Seth shifts from side to side. “Well, the snake bitch fucking lied.” 

His girlfriend holds it up. “You can keep it by the way, because I’m done. I’m not going to sit back and watch you destroy everything you’ve worked so hard for. Consider this my resignation too.” 

“Vanessa----no! You can’t. You’re our manager.” 

She shakes her head. “Not anymore. I should have done this a long time ago. Have a nice life, Seth. I hope your brother makes you very happy.” She tosses the ring at him but it falls to the ground with a clatter. 

When Vanessa turns, she notices the Fullers standing there awkwardly for the first time. “Oh. Hi Jacob.” 

Jacob clears his throat. “Hi, Vanessa.” 

The pretty brunette storms off and slams the door behind her. Seth sighs. “Well Jacob, you know anything about managing a band?” 

He shrugs. “I can get you from point A to point B like I always do.” 

The rocker nods. “Fair enough.” He pauses, noticing the two kids finally. “What’s with Bruce Lee and Miley? You pick up a couple of fans on the way?” 

Kate scoffs. 

Scott grins. “Kate’s more of a Josh Groban kind of girl.” 

Seth squints. “That prick, really?” 

“He’s got nice hair. Unlike some people.” She looks him pointedly up and down, making him nervously run his hands through it. He shrugs. 

Jacob clears his throat. “Seth, these are my children. Kate here is the oldest. Scott’s the youngest. They’re mother just passed so they’ll be coming on the road with us. I had talked it over with Vanessa but----“ 

Seth shrugs. “The more the merrier. We’ve always got room on The Beast. Last time we picked up a ranger chasing after two dudes that had robbed a bank or something.” 

“The Beast?” Kate asks. 

“The bus,” Jacob answers. 

“Home sweet home for the next few months, Princess,” Seth says. 

She glares. “Just because I like music that’s actually soulful and means something doesn’t mean you get to call me that.” 

He laughs. “Actually, I call every girl Princess but now that I know it makes you mad I think it’s gonna stick.” 

Kate frowns. _“Dad, seriously?”_

Jacob shrugs, then pats her on the shoulder. “Katie Cakes, as your father and as an aged old roadie, I’m going to say that I’m okay with it. There’s a lot worse things these fucking rockstar bastards could call you.” 

Seth frowns. “I’m offended, Jacob. I’m not a fucking bastard. But I am a fucking rockstar.” 

Jacob chuckles. “Whatever you say, Gecko.” 

“You kids sit back and relax. I have to go pick my brother up from rehab because my former girlfriend is an idiot. I’ll be back before the show starts tonight. You let Carlos know if he actually can pry himself away from Mrs. Madrigal long enough?” Seth asks. 

“Sure thing, boss.” 

Seth nods at them, winking at Kate as he goes, and he exits out of the room. Kate glances at her Dad. “So what now?” 

Jacob shrugs. “Now we wait. That’s what this job is, really. A lot of waiting.” 

“Hey Dad, think you can show me the sound equipment?” Scott asks. “I saw a picture of their guitar collection online. It looked awesome.” 

“Sure, no problem. Kate, would you like to----“ 

“No, thanks. I’ll just wait here.” She sits in a booth then takes out her cell phone. Briefly, she considers texting Kyle again but thinks better of it. Instead, she sleeps, the plane ride finally catching up with her. 

She dreams. She’s dreams about being back at home again and she stands in front of the bathroom and sees the red blood on the alarmingly white tiles. It isn’t long before she notices the razors on the ground, and sees her mother’s closed eyes. “Mama----mama-----“ 

Kate rushes forward to get her mother out of the tub but the blood trickling from her wrists tells her it won’t matter anyway. She lets out a scream. “Mama! Mama no!” 

“Kate! Kate!” The shouting of her name wakes her up. She thrashes in her sleep and is aware of two arms lifting her up. She struggles against them until she feels cool water on her face. 

“What the hell was that?” Seth stands over her with wide, panicky eyes. “You having some sort of seizure, kid?” 

She sits up on the couch she’s been placed on and wipes some of the water poured on her off. “I’m fine,” she lies. 

He raises an eyebrow. “That didn’t _look_ like fine.” 

“It looked like night terrors.” Kate notices for the first time a tall guy standing in back wearing glasses, with slicked back hair, who looked like a paler, more awkward version of Seth. “Do you suffer parasomnia?” 

Kate shakes her head. “What the hell is that?” 

“Typically, it occurs in adults when----“ 

“Richard, shut up,” Seth orders holding up his hand making the other stranger stop talking immediately. 

Richard adjusts his glasses. “If we’re going to be sharing a tour bus with this person Seth we should probably know these things. I don’t know about you, but I need seven hours. That’s the official recommended amount of time according to the National Sleep Foundation.” 

Seth sighs. “Thank you, Bill Nye. Why don’t you let Kate talk now?” 

Kate bites her lip. “It was nothing. I didn’t ruin your show did I?” 

He waves his hand. “Nah, don’t worry about it. We were just rehearsing anyway. Fifteen minutes till the doors open. We’ll be fine.” 

“Carlos still can’t hit that note, actually,” Richie says, “and you interrupted the song that he was working on.” 

“Carlos will be fine, Richard.” He glances back at her. 

Richie clears his throat. “Aren’t you going to introduce us? There’s a thing called manners, Seth.” 

Kate grins as she watches Seth’s exasperated face. “Richie, this is Kate. Kate’s Jacobs daughter. You will not look, touch, or hit on Jacob’s daughter. Got that? Kate, this is Richie. The same goes for you. There will be no shenanigans on my tour bus.” 

Richie waves politely at her and Kate smiles back. Seth walks over and slaps his brother on the back of the head. “No shenanigans.” 

Richie winces. “What about Vanessa? She was our manager Seth.” 

“Vanessa was of legal age.” 

“I’m eighteen,” Kate says. 

There’s a beat where they both look at her with surprise before blinking. Seth clears his throat. “Nevertheless….no shenanigans.” He gives his brother a pat on the shoulder. 

There’s a knock on the door. A charming man with a beard wearing a scarlet vest, a black undershirt, and black slacks pokes his head in. “Everything alright in here, you two? Because we need Los Hermanos Geckos with their balls screwed on tight in less than ten minutes.” 

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Carlito. We’ll be ready. You just worry about hitting those high notes pretty boy.” 

Carlos frowns. “I hate you.” 

“You love me.” He glances back at Kate, then to Carlos. “Carlos, this here is Kate. She’s one of Jacob’s kids. She’ll be coming on the road with us. Like I’ve already told Richie, no shenanigans.” 

Carlos sighs. “Seth, despite your many attempts to remind me that marriage is a nightmare, I remain a happily committed man. Santanico and I are just fine. Although, I can’t say the same for you and Miss Styles. You call her to apologize yet?” 

Seth huffs. “Let’s just get this goddamned show over with, alright?” 

The three men walk out of the dressing room. Seth backtracks just a second and pokes his head through the door. “You coming, Princess? Or you just going to stay in here all night?” 

Kate glances around the dingy dressing room and notices what appears to be a heroin needle in the garbage can nearby. “Whatever,” she replies, but follows him anyway. 

Her brother and Jacob stand off by the craft service table munching on sandwiches. Scott smiles at her as the band makes their way past to the stage. Kate watches from the sidelines as Carlos takes the mic, Seth the guitar, and Richie surprisingly sits behind the drums. 

“Alright, how is everyone out there tonight?” Carlos says into the microphone and the crowd screams. “Is everyone out there muy psyched to be here? I can’t hear you….” The crowd screams again, this time louder. “Come on I know you can do better than that!” This time the crowd is so loud it makes the building shake. Carlos smiles and continues, “Alright, alright. We are Los Hermanos Geckos and we are ready to party, Los Angeles.” 

The band begins to play. Carlos sings lead and Seth harmonizes. It’s a cover, she realizes, though she can’t place who sings it. “I’ve been throwing knives/To see just where they land/Now my world is in your hands….”

Kate feels Seth’s eyes on her the whole time though he never messes up a chord once. He has the whole handsome devil thing down pat and she understands the whole musician thing immediately. He wants people to like him. And Kate well… 

She glances back at her Dad and Scott, talking enthusiastically about something. 

Kate just wants to not feel the gaping hole that’s been in her chest ever since Mama died. That’s what Kate wants. 

The show is a three hour high energy performance that is somehow complete with flames that burst from the stage and half naked, dancing girls. The band comes off from it drenched in sweat and on a high. 

“That was fucking amazing!” Carlos exclaims. _“Did you hear them?”_

“Best crowd yet. And you killed that song, my man. What do you say we open with that when we’re in New York?” 

“You think the Producers will like that?” he asks. “It’s not completely finished.” 

“The producers will _love_ it. Did you see the way those chicks lost their minds?” Seth says. 

Richie grins. “I caught someone’s panties.” He holds up a pink, lacy thong and the other boys laugh. 

Kate steps forward then. Seth walks towards her. “So, what’d you think? Better than Josh Groban?” 

She looks at Carlos. “You could probably work on your harmonies a bit more.” 

_“Excuse you?”_ Carlos says, glaring. 

Seth wraps his arm around his shoulders. “Easy man. Don’t let her royal highness get to you. No one could ever match her high standards. She’s more of a Switchfoot and Creed kind of a girl.” 

Richie wrinkles his nose. “I had such high hopes for you. You even seemed mildly interesting with your sleep issues. I don’t think we can be friends.” 

She shakes her head. “Well at least I actually have standards unlike some of you. You talk about my music sucking but at least I don’t put shit into my body.” 

The three men stiffen. Seth grabs her by the arm and pulls her away. “You need to stop right now. Whatever you think you know, you don’t know, Princess.” 

She snorts. “Please, I saw the needle Seth. I might just be a small town girl but I’ve been around enough substance abusers to know drugs when I see them.” 

“I’m not even going to touch that comment right now, but you need to shut your mouth when it comes to Richie. Because if you don’t, I will make sure you aren’t on that bus tomorrow.” 

“Are you kidding me? Do you remember where you picked him up from earlier today?” 

He rubs his temples. “Shit. That was a mistake because goddamned Vanessa overreacted.” 

“Overreacted to what?” 

“My drugs-I mean, _the drugs.”_

There’s a long pause between them. Kate stares at him wide eyed. “They were yours?” He avoids eye contact with her. _“Seriously, you were going to let your brother go to rehab for you because they were yours?”_

He scratches the back of his neck and Kate can’t help but stare at his tattoo. “That’s what it’s for isn’t it? To cover up the track marks?” 

He pauses. “How’d you guess?” 

She bites her lip. “You want to know why I was screaming in my sleep?” 

He locks eyes with her. “Sure.” 

“I was dreamin’ about when I found my Mama dead, in a bathtub, with her wrists slit. It might have been a different kind of abuse but all people with addictions are the same. They’re all searching for something to fill that hole. Mama couldn’t fill hers. Someday, you’re not going to be able to fill yours either.” 

“My tour. My rules.” He narrows his eyes. “You tell anyone, you’ll----“ 

Kate puts her hand up. “Go ahead. Leave me. You think I want to be here? I am here because my Mama died, Seth. That’s the only reason that I’m here. You think about that the next time you use your brother to cover up your addiction.” 

“Fuck you, Kate.” 

She glares. “Go fuck yourself. Because that’s who you’re going to have when you wind up dead.” 

Seth stares after her as she turns from him, unable to find words for the first time in his life.


	2. The Peyote, The Heroin Funeral, And Carlos loses his shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peyote. Smutty smut. And Carlos losing his shit.

Six O’ Clock in the morning in Los Angeles is a strange thing. The sun comes up, it’s bright, and yet Kate is freezing her ass off as the tour bus is being packed with the bands equipment. There are two buses it turns out. One for the band and one for the dancers and crew. Jacob drives the second one, it turns out. 

Kate can’t say that she’s surprised. He always was a great liar. The second one seems to be a lot smaller with only one bathroom. 

“Smile, Kate,” Scott says as he plays with his cell phone, “this is cool! We’re going to be spending all summer with a rock band.” 

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares. “Scott, you remember _why_ we’re spending all summer with a rock band?” 

His face falls. “Yeah I know but….I’ve been playing guitar since I was six. This is the kind of thing most kids only dream about. Is it so bad I’m a little bit excited about something finally? These past few years were shit, Kate.” 

Kate pats him on the shoulder. “Look, I’m glad you’re happy. I am. It’s just I miss our house. I miss Bethel. I even miss Shelly and I’m pretty sure she and Kyle hooked up after I left. And I miss….” 

Scott smiles half-heartedly at her. “I miss her too. Hey, did you take your meds? Seth said something about you freaking out during rehearsal.” 

She scowls. “I don’t need the meds. I’m sleeping fine.” 

“Kate---just because Mom----“ 

_“I don’t need the meds.”_

Her brother frowns. “Okay. Whatever you say. Just don’t let Dad find out. He was there last time. He knows.” 

Kate snorts. “Like he has any room to talk.” 

“He’s barely had a drink since we’ve got here.” 

“Since we’ve got here. But did you smell him at the airport?” 

Scott sighs. Just then, a pretty, dark haired woman sashays up to them. “Are you Kate?” she asks. 

Kate looks up in surprise. “Yeah. That’s me.” 

“I’ve been told to give you this.” The woman holds up what appears to be a signed Josh Groban C.D. “They seem to forget that I’m one of their dancers and not their slave. Don’t expect me to be doing this a second time. Do you understand?” 

Kate swallows hard. “I understand.” 

The woman presses the c.d. into her hands. Kate blinks after a moment then says, “Hey, where is he?” 

The woman pauses. “Knowing him, still in his hotel room. He always waits until the last minute to get on. If we’re early to the show tonight it will be amazing.” 

“What room is it?” 

“2604,” she answers. 

“Thanks. Um, what did you say your name was?” 

“Santanico.” 

“Thanks, Santanico.” Kate rushes off back inside the hotel. The elevator ride seems to take forever. When she finally does reach the right floor, she storms down the hall and knocks fiercely on the door. 

“Hold your horses, Carlito. I’ll be down before the bus leaves the curb.” 

“Open the door.” 

There’s a long pause then the sound of shuffling feet. Seth stands there with an impish grin on his face. “You get my present? Come to shower thanks on me?” 

Kate tosses the c.d. at his chest. “You can’t buy me.” 

He puts his hands up. “I wasn’t trying to buy you. I was just trying to do something nice. Do you know how _painful_ it was for me to call that guy? It’s Josh Groban. He’s the least rock n’ roll thing out there.” 

“Let me in.” 

“Little Lady, the tongues would wag and I don’t want people to question my virtue and all that.” 

She crosses her arms over her chest and stares defiantly at him. Seth sighs. “You’re not going to let this go are you?” 

“It’s not fair for Richie to have to take the blame for your mistakes.” 

Seth squints. “You wet for my brother or something Fuller?” 

Kate wrinkles her nose. “I have a boyfriend.” It’s a lie, because there were no texts from Kyle that morning and she’s not sure there’s going to be anymore. Part of her thinks from the look in Seth’s eyes that she could dance with the devil if she wanted. 

And she wants _something._ Something to fill that hole and to keep her warm at night when the nightmares about Mama and the blood come. But Seth isn’t a Band-Aid. Seth hasn’t even fixed himself. Still, she won’t lie and pretend that the little hint of jealousy in his eyes doesn’t make her heart skip a beat a little. 

Seth leans against the door with a smirk on his face. “Boyfriends have never really stopped me before.” 

Kate bites her lip. “Then why don’t you open up?” 

He steps back. His eyes narrowed in suspicion, Seth let’s her in the room. It doesn’t take long for Kate to find the drugs. The needles sticking up in the trashcan again because that’s his hiding place for them. Because who would think to look there? 

Seth tries to stop her, grabbing her by the arm. “Damn it, Kate! Let it go. That’s fucking mine.” 

_“Not anymore!”_ she all but screams. “You want to shoot up do you, Seth? Do you?” Kate opens the plastic bag Seth’s stash is in. She takes out the needle. “I’ve got nothing left. You’re going to have nothing left after this. Why don’t we have nothing together? It’ll be real romantic. Sid and Nancy style!” 

Seth rips the stash from her hands. “Don’t you fucking dare.” 

Kate puts her hands on her hips. “Why not?” 

He steps back. “You’re still worth something, Kate.” 

There’s a knock on the door. “Hey brother, you ready?” 

It’s Richie. 

Seth stands there clutching the drugs to his chest. Kate gingerly takes them from his hands. “Well someone thinks _your_ worth something.” 

The door opens. “Seth, do you have a woman in there? Vanessa is going to be pissed.” 

Kate glances at him, her cheeks heating up. 

Richie frowns. “Shooting up with a young girl? We’re not deviants, brother.” 

“Hey Richie?” Seth asks. 

“Yeah?” 

“I want you to keep this for me.”

“Seth, you know I don’t do that shit. I’m not going back to rehab for you either.” 

“It’s not that. I want you to---“ 

Kate grabs the drugs from him. “I’ll keep them.” 

“Kate, I can’t ask you---“ 

She shrugs. “As far as anyone’s concerned, I stole it.” 

Seth shifts uncomfortably. She hugs them to her chest. 

Richie sighs. “We’re going to be late. So someone had better do something about the drugs. Because being late is just plain rude, Seth.” 

He hands her a hotel bath robe that sits on the nearby desk chair. “You’re going to need that. No one else should know.” 

She nods. “No one else will.” 

The three of them slink off through the hotel room door. 

“This isn’t right,” Richie says after a while, “why can’t you just get rid of them?” 

She clears her throat. “Then someone else will use them.” 

“How do we know you won’t, Kate?” Richie asks. 

Kate stops walking and shows them the cross that hangs around her neck. “Because I’ve got something stronger than any addiction.” 

Seth laughs. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Faith?” 

“Yeah. You’ve got to have faith in something.” 

He snorts. “I stopped having faith in anything a long time ago. See, the thing is once you start believing in something it’s bound to disappoint you. Nothing lives up to the hype.” 

“God hasn’t disappointed me yet.” 

Seth huffs. “You still feel the same way at your Mama’s funeral?” 

She glares and watches as he scratches his arm where his tattoo is. “Well at least I’ve got something other than an itch to scratch.” Kate walks on ahead of them. 

Richie pats his brother on the shoulder. “I like her. She’s got spunk.” 

“No shenanigans,” Seth mutters and the two make their way to the bus. 

Seth can’t remember the last time he’s gone so long without shooting up. The bus ride to the gig in ----- is torture. He plays the guitar the whole way just to keep his hands busy. It’s a tune that he can’t get out of his head. 

“What’s that?” Santanico asks from where she sits on Carlos’s lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. “It’s pretty.” 

“Don’t know yet,” Seth answers, “I’ve just had it stuck in my head all day.” 

Carlos takes out the tiny, black notebook he keeps in his pants pocket along with a pen. “You should put some lyrics to it.” 

He shakes his head. “I don’t do that poetry bullshit. That’s your thing.” 

“Everyone that’s ever been in love has a poet in them, Seth,” Carlos insists, “try it.” 

He stops strumming. “What do I write about?” 

Carlos smirks. “Something’s making you play that guitar all day. Just start with the first thing that springs to mind.” 

Seth sighs. “Alright, Shakespeare. I’ll give it a whirl. Just don’t expect too much.” He puts the guitar off to the side then picks up the pen and paper. He hums the melody as he writes, scratching his arm absentmindedly as he does. 

Got a cross around me like a hangman’s noose   
And a devil whispering in my ear, ‘You’ve got nothing left to lose.”   
You’ve got nothing left to lose except you   
And I’m not saying that I should be saved   
But darling wouldn’t it be a shame if I only got to know your name   
I’m grasping at straws trying to behave   
But all I want is to piss on faith   
Because what kind of god would give me something so good just to take it away   
But I don’t believe in much these days   
Except you   
I got nothing left to lose   
I got nothing left to lose   
Except you  
It takes approximately seventeen hours to get to Texas with a stop in between at a place called Deming, New Mexico. Being that Vanessa quite the previous day they have no reservations and end up staying at the shittiest place in town. It was a place called The Dew Drop Inn with faded paint and a pool that’s water has a tint of green to it. 

Kate has spent the entirety of the trip alternately reading and clutching the heroin to her chest. She ignores the dancers and their chatter, and the roadies as they play cards or tell stories. Scott sits next to a sound technician that is telling him a story about Jimi Hendrix and something to do with one hundred water balloons. 

When the bus finally stops, she all but jumps to push her way off. “Hey, hey, hey!” Jacob calls. “Just where do you think you’re going?” 

She pauses right by the door. “I’ve got to pee, Dad. In a real bathroom not that tiny thing.” 

Jacob frowns. “Alright, just meet us back in the lobby. We’ll be checking in for the night.” 

“Sure.” She pushes through and breaths in the fresh air. Its late afternoon, having stopped a few times in between for gas and food. 

The moment she gets out, she feels a hand on her shoulder. “You sure you don’t want me to take that off your hands?” Seth stands there smirking. 

Kate huffs. “I’m fine. In fact, now that we’re here this is going to go someplace that you will never find it again.” 

“Just where exactly is that, Princess? Because if you’re thinking garbage can-----“ 

She glares. “I’m not thinking garbage can.” 

Kate glances off to the distance where the wide, open desert is before them. Seth follows her look. He sighs. “Jesus Christ, you can’t be serious.” 

“But I am serious.” She starts walking. 

Seth catches up with her. “It’s summer. You can’t just wander off in the middle of the goddamned desert.” 

“It’s only a few miles.” 

“Just wait a second, okay? Just wait.” 

“I’m burying it out in the middle of the desert whether you like it or not, Seth. There’s nothing that you can say or do that will stop me.” 

He pats her on the shoulder. “You’ll die without provisions.” 

She frowns. “Fine. I’ll wait.” 

Seth heads into the hotel and somehow, comes back moments later with what appears to be a hiking pack. 

Kate squints. “How did you do that?” 

Seth grins. “Fans, Kate. I’ve got fans. Perks of being with me if you’re interested.” Kate rolls her eyes and goes to grab the pack but Seth stops her. 

“Hey!” she objects. 

“You’re not going out alone.” He shoulders the pack. “I can’t have news articles getting printed about the young teen traveling with Los Hermanos Geckos that died. So, start walking Sister Christian.” 

“How do I know you won’t just kill me and take the heroin for yourself?” 

He chuckles. “I’m a rock star, Kate. Not a criminal.” 

Kate wants to argue with him but bites her tongue. Together, they start walking. The heat hits them the farther they go. Its n the mid-nineties, and Kate’s lips begin to dry. “Got any water in that pack?” she asks. 

Seth pulls the bag off for a second and finds a canteen. He hands it to her. Kate takes a swig and finds that whatever is in the canteen has an acrid taste and nearly gags. _“That’s not water!”_

She hands him back the canteen. Seth sniffs it. “Oooh, ooooh! Figures that dirty hippy I bought the pack off from would have this.” 

“What is it?” She wipes her lips clean with her hand. 

“Peyote.” 

Kate raises an eyebrow. “The stuff they use on vision quests?” 

He shrugs. “If you believe in all of that mumbo jumbo. Personally I think it’s just a really good hallucinogen.” 

“Give me that.” 

“Kate, you’re not going to drink Peyote in the middle of the damned desert. I’ve done some stupid things in my time but I won’t let you.” 

She grabs it roughly from him, and takes another swig. 

Seth stares at her with wide eyes. _“What the hell was that?”_

“I just wanna see if I can see Mama again,” it comes out as a helpless whisper. The guitarist sighs and finishes off the drink. 

“Seth you don’t----“ 

“Trust me. Its poor taste to drink alone.” 

Kate feels herself becoming calmer somehow. The sky before her begins to shimmer, and the heroin she still carries in her arms floats away. She laughs and twirls in the middle of the desert feeling lighter then she has for the first time in years. 

Seth stands next to her, a dopey grin on his face. He stares at his outstretched hand. “Do you know what a culebra is Kate?” he asks. 

Kate shakes her head. “No.” 

“It’s a snake vampire. I think I’d like to see one of those someday.” 

“I bet we could. I bet we could see anything we wanted!” she shouts. 

“I bet we could see your Mama!” Seth shouts back. 

“I bet we could too. Let’s find her.” 

The two link arms and begin walking through the desert heat. “Mama!” Kate calls. “Mama come back. I want to see you again Mama!” 

Kate does see her Mama. She sees her standing in a white dress, walking towards her and smiling. She rushes towards her. “Mama!” Her Mama disappears from sight and they are no longer in the desert. 

They are back at the hotel, and Kate is in the pool. But the water is no longer water. It’s blood. It’s _her_ blood. All she can do is laugh miserably. There’s a hand that reaches out in front of her face. 

It’s Seth’s hand. 

She hears humming in the distance. 

Got a cross around me like a hangman’s noose   
And a devil whispering in my ear, ‘You’ve got nothing left to lose.”   
You’ve got nothing left to lose except you

Kate smiles. “I like that song.” 

“Good. I wrote it for you.” 

“No one’s ever written me a song before.” 

The sun is bright and she can see the outline of Seth’s head. She feels him tracing her skin lightly and it’s like having clouds touching her skin. Kate finds herself laughing and then his lips are on hers. “I want to feel something, Seth. Something besides all this.” She gestures to the nothingness that surrounds them and somehow it makes sense. 

“How about me?” he offers as he presses his forehead to hers and kisses her, biting on her lower lip making Kate laugh nervously. 

They are somewhere between reality and nowhere. A snake watches in the distance, the sound of its rattle turning to a drum. The pack is forgotten and Kate is lying on the desert ground with Seth Gecko’s hands under her panties stroking her clit with the same skill he plays his guitar. Kate arches into him, feeling his length in between her legs, as her toes curl and a gasp escapes her lips. _“Fuck, Seth.”_

The planets are aligning somewhere as their souls do. The snake watches from its corner, slithering itself into a tightly wound circle with its rattle shaking harder, and harder. 

There is nothing for Kate to grab hold to except for Seth. She clutches at him like she is reaching out for hope in the form of a single soul, a soul that’s lost his own. And he reaches out for her like a man grasping for angels wings that he can’t quite catch. 

Seth is an adventurer that’s found the fountain of youth inside a young girl. He shows his wonder as he explores her neck with kisses, rubs her breasts as if they were precious jewels, and then…then he finally takes it all in, kissing her in the goddamned holy land. 

Kate is flying. Flying past the sun, past stars. And then she reaches out for one. _“I want you. Baby, I want you.”_

The words are whispered but Seth hears, and quickly unbuttons his pants. Kate wraps her fingers around his cock and Seth’s eyes widened in surprise. “I want to feel something,” she whispers, as her fingers caress him and Seth groans in pleasure.   
_“God damn it Kate!”_

They collapse in a heap of stars. The snake slithers off, and the heroin is forgotten. As Kate stares off into the night sky, she thinks she sees her Mama again, laughing out in the desert, happy and free. 

“SETH. FUCKING. GECKO!!!!!” The words echo through the desert and are loud enough that it startles the two awake. 

Seth’s arms are wrapped around Kate, and Kate is aware that her pants are unbuttoned and somewhere in the middle of the night got tossed to the side. Carlos Madrigal stands over them, shaking, with Richie laughing right next to him, and an amused Texas Ranger off to the side. 

“Looks like he’s just fine, folks,” says the Ranger, “now if everything’s all well and done here, I’m going home to have breakfast with my wife Margaret. Because that’s what normal people do this early in the morning.” 

Carlos puts a hands on the man’s shoulder. “Not so fast, Ranger Gonzalez Can’t you just arrest him for being an imbecile?”   
The man shakes his head. “Then everyone would be in jail at some point. Have a nice day, gentlemen.” 

The other half of Los Hermanos Geckos looks like they would very much like to kill Seth, and Kate feels like she would very much like to sink into the ground. Also, the desert seems to wobble a lot more than it did previously. 

“DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG WE”VE BEEN OUT SEARCHING THIS GODDAMNED TOWN FOR YOU? WE NEARLY DROVE HALF WAY TO VEGAS BECAUSE WHEN KATE WAS MISSING TOO WE FIGURED YOU GOT MARRIED AND I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD SETH---“ 

Seth puts his hands up. “Good morning to you too, Carlito.” 

“YOU DON’T GET TO CARLITO ME. NOT AFTER THIS. JACOB FULLER’S GONNA KILL US, SETH. KILL US. IF I DIE BEFORE I GET A GRAMMY I WILL HAUNT YOUR ASS. I SWEAR TO GOD.” 

Seth puts a hand on Kate’s shoulder. “Well, yeah, according to you I’ll be dead too.” 

“FUCK YOU, SETH.” Carlos’s eyes are filled with rage, and his body is shaking. 

Kate clears her throat. “Sorry. We just didn’t want my Dad to find out.” 

Richie adjusts his glasses as he says, “Then it wasn’t about the heroin funeral?” 

Seth raises an eyebrow. “Heroin funeral?” 

Richie gestures to the tiny rock tombstone that has ‘here lies heroin’ written in what Kate realizes is her lipstick color, something pink. 

Kate winces. “Peyote.” 

Seth lightly rubs her shoulder, laughing a little. “Peyote.” 

Kate stands quickly and buttons her pants.

Richie walks forward and pats his brother on the shoulder. “Good on you, brother. I always knew you could be a moral citizen if you just applied yourself.” 

Seth chuckles. “Don’t know about moral. Broke my own damned rules last night.” He glances at Kate, who blushes fiercely. 

“This doesn’t change anything.” 

“Maybe for you, Princess. Maybe for you.” There’s a threat in there somehow, she knows, but Seth stays on his good behavior for the duration of the long walk back to the hotel. 

When they arrive, Jacob stands waiting by the bus with a worried Scott. 

“Kate, what the hell?” Her brother says. “We woke up and you guys weren’t back.” 

“Kate wanted to go to church,” Seth lies, “so I went with her.” 

Kate thinks that she’s going to smack him later. “Church”. Bullshit. “Sorry, Daddy. Didn’t mean to worry you.” 

Jacob smiles, and reaches out to pat her on the shoulder. “That’s okay, Katie-Cakes. You’re all grown. I trust you.” 

Kate feels a bit of a twinge of disappointment because she isn’t grown. She isn’t grown at all, and just once, she’d like for him to realize that. 

“Hey Kate?” Richie calls. 

Kate raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?” 

“You want to ride with us?” he asks. “There’s a bit more room.” 

“Don’t worry about it, Richard,” says Seth, “I’m going to ride with them. Give Carlos a chance to cool down from all that praying.” 

Kate notes that Carlos is now clenching his hands in fists and she wonders how long it will be before he punches Seth at the next stop. Not that she can blame him. Part of her would like to do the same, because _goddamned peyote._

What had she been thinking? 

Of course that was the point. 

She hadn’t been. 

It was nice for a change. 

And she got to see her Mama’s face again.


	3. The Ring of Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth makes Kate sing. No, really.

Chapter Three

There’s approximately four hours left until they reach Texas. Kate isn’t sure she’s going to survive. She isn’t sure that Seth is going to survive and Los Hermanos Geckos might have to perform sans guitar player. Because she just might kill him. 

Everyone else on the crew bus is too busy to notice. Scott is being taught some card game called ‘Eagles Poker’ by three of the technicians and the only other two dancers (besides Santanico) for the show are fixing their costumes. There’s nothing to distract Kate from the furtive glances, or the purposeful knee bumps, or the goddamned smirk on his stupid face. 

The smirk that says I’ve made you scream my name, and I’m going to make you do it again. Kate won’t talk to him though. She won’t give him the satisfaction. She pretends to be interested in the magazine she got at the airport on the trip to Los Angeles. But the tension between them is practically unbearable, and she finds herself fighting a smile because of Seth’s face. 

Seth spends the trip playing the guitar. “You know Kate, I bet you got some musical chops on you with the way you were singing last night.” 

Kate glances up, glowers at him, then looks behind her where her Dad is focused on driving the bus. “Seriously, Seth?” 

He chuckles. “Oh, c’mon. Jacob Fuller’s old school. Shit, I could tell you some stories about your old man that would make your skin crawl.” 

She puts the magazine away. “Like what?” 

He smiles. “I’m no rat, Kate. But we’re talking about your musical career. How much I want to hear you sing again.” 

Her cheeks heat up. “I’m afraid I’ve lost my voice.” 

Seth leans across the table. “I bet I could make you find it again.” 

She feels his breath on her face. Kate leans back in the tiny kitchen booth they’re taking up. “I’m not going to be your band-aide.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Band-aide?” 

“Yeah, you heard me. You’re an addict. You’re replacing one habit with another. And you just broke up with your girlfriend and longtime manager. You don’t need me. I’m eighteen years old and whatever you think is going to happen, isn’t. Because I’ve spent my entire life fixing people.” 

He leans back. “So you’re not going to fix me?” 

She bites her lip. “No. I’m not going to. I’m done trying to.” 

He chuckles. “Really, just like that? I mean you spent yesterday wandering around in the desert to get rid of my heroin but you’re done?” 

Kate nods. 

“So you don’t care what I do?” 

She shakes her head. “You’re a man Seth, aren’t you?” 

He smirks. “I’m a man, alright. I think I made that abundantly clear last night.” 

“So, if you’re a man you can do what you want.” 

Seth grabs hold of her hand and traces the top of her hand, making her shiver. “Maybe all I want do is you.” 

Kate glances to where her brother sits and she momentarily wonders if there’s enough room for her to sit. But she’s stuck. She glances at the clock on her phone. Three hours and thirty minutes. “You really want to hear me sing again Seth?” 

He kisses the knuckles on her hand. “Well you are my becoming my favorite song, Kate.” 

“What about you’re other favorite thing?” 

He frowns. “The drugs have nothing to do with this.” 

“The drugs have everything to do with this. You just had a relationship end because of them or don’t you get that? If I hadn’t found them in the trash and accused Richie of being an addict would you have even told me about them.” 

“No,” he answers, “but I barely know you. Why would I tell you anything?” 

“I was under the impression that’s what people in relationships do. But then again Vanessa probably thought the same thing and she dated you.” 

He rolls his eyes. “You’re just a girl. What the hell do you know?” 

“Nothing…which is precisely what’s going to happen between you and me. Nothing.” 

“Shit, you’ve got to be kidding me. Do you know how easy it would be for me to find someone anyone to take that place? You’re not special, Kate. There’s a thousand girls out there who I could have.” 

“Fine. Use one of them.” 

“Maybe I will.” 

“Good. Like I said, I don’t care.” 

“Great.” 

“Excellent.” 

“Fantastic.” 

There’s a pregnant pause between them. Seth’s eyes are smoldering and Kate grips the table. Texas, Texas, Texas…. 

Austin isn’t that far from Bethel. In fact, it’s about two hours. Seth’s look makes Kate think about the desert, and peyote, and good god, her ‘singing’ for him. She crosses her legs tightly, grabs her phone, and shoots Kyle a text asking if he wants to meet up. He replies quickly with a yes. 

Seth notices, but doesn’t say anything. 

The hotel they arrive at is nicer then the last one because Richie called ahead and coerced the place into letting them stay despite the hesitation of the owner. Apparently last time they’d been in Texas, there’d been something involving a piano and a pool. 

“Alright,” says Carlos as they stand in the hotel’s lobby, “this is the plan. We will rehearse, the show goes on at eight, and tomorrow is our free day according to the schedule Vanessa was kind enough to text me despite certain circumstances.” He narrows his eyes at Seth who hangs his head sheepishly. “If you are not on the bus tomorrow at exactly eight o’ clock, you will be left. Is that understood?” 

The group nods. “Good. Everybody back out.” 

Kate runs to catch up with Jacob before he gets onto the bus. “Hey Dad, is it alright if I stay at the hotel?” 

Jacob shrugs. “You sure? It’s going to be awfully boring by yourself.” 

“Yeah it’s just…Bethel’s only a few hours away and I thought maybe I could meet up with some friends.” 

Seth, not standing too far off says, “I wouldn’t, Jacob.” 

Her Dad glances over at the guitarist and Kate scrunches up her face in anger. “What’s it to you, Gecko?” 

He shrugs. “I don’t know. A young, teenage girl alone in a hotel room? Sounds like a bad idea. You never know what kind of deviants could be around.” 

“Dad, please. It’s just friends from church.” 

“Kate, I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’ll be going off to college soon and this summer might be one of the last time’s that we’re together as a family.” 

“We haven’t even spent any time together since I got here.” 

“Well, we could start. What do you say Scott? I’m not really needed after I drop the band off.” 

Scott smiles. “Sounds good to me.” 

Kate groans but Seth shoots her a grin. She thinks that it won’t be heroin that’s buried in the desert next time. It’s going to be the guitar player of Los Hermanos Geckos. So after the band is dropped off at the club, Kate is stuck with Scott and her Dad. 

They have dinner at The Big Kahuna Burger nearby. Scott pretends like he’s playing drums the whole time. “Man, the show the other night was awesome. These guys are great. They’re albums going to be huge when it’s released.” 

Kate shrugs. “Maybe.” 

“Oh c’mon Kate, there’s more music out there then just church stuff. Have you even listened to any of their songs?” 

“I was at the show,” she answers. 

“Yeah but did you really listen?” Scott asks. 

“I’ve toured with a lot of bands in my day,” says Jacob, “now they’re nothin’ compared to say The Eagles but Madrigal does have some nice vocals. That kid Richie beats those drums like a maniac, and Seth well…” 

“Seth’s magic on that guitar,” Scott says, “magic.” 

Kate rolls her eyes. “You’re both just saying that because you think they’re cool.” 

“They are cool,” Scott says, and he tosses her one of their c.d.’s. 

“How’d you get this?” Kate asks. 

“Santanico gave it to me. They’re selling them at the merch table. They’re not supposed to come out until August or something but they want to help spread the hype at the shows. Of course, the dancers are the real reason their doing so well. Santanico’s snake dance shit is awesome.” 

Kate raises an eyebrow. “There’s a snake dance?” 

“Did you even pay attention to the show?” Scott asks, looking at her incredulously as he pops a fry into his mouth. 

“I….well…I mean….” She turns bright red because when she thinks about the concert all she remembers is Seth. 

“You’ve been lookin’ at Gecko haven’t you, Katie Cakes?” her Dad asks. 

Kate swallows hard. “What? No. Nope. Not at all.” 

Jacob smiles as he takes a drink of his soda. “Kate, you don’t have to lie to me. I’m an old man. I’ve been around this kind of lifestyle long enough to know what goes on behind closed doors. Besides, I know other drivers that have been fired for so much less. You don’t interfere with the bands life. That’s how you keep on working.” 

“Dad, I’m not part of it.” 

Scott snorts. “You were part of it the moment Richie called you interesting.” 

“When did he---“ 

“Something about your sleeping thing. Hey, did you take your pills last night?” 

“I slept,” she answers curtly. She doesn’t mention that she slept in the desert in a sex haze after downing peyote. Or that she’s not touched her pills in days. 

“I can get the prescription refilled for you if you need it, Kate,” Jacob offers. 

She shakes her head. “I’m fine. I don’t need anything.” 

The band plays at a place called Mohawk. They’ve rehearsed five songs and Santanico is practicing her snake bit. Seth lays back on the stage with a tom cat grin on his face, strumming his guitar and thinking about how he’d thwarted Kate’s plans to run off and meet church boy. 

“What’s with that smile?” Richie asks as he takes a seat next to his brother. 

“You know that feeling when you get what you want?” he asks. 

Richie nods. “Yeah that’s a pretty good feeling.” His eyes dart to where Santanico practices, and Seth shakes his head. 

“Yeah. It is that, brother.” 

“You know you said the same thing after you and Vanessa got together,” his brother points out. 

Seth sits up. “Yeah but this…this is different. Kate’s different.” 

“Because she’s younger?” 

“I don’t know,” Seth answers, “maybe. You don’t feel it around her? She’s just got something.” 

Richie squints at him. “You sure you didn’t get that heroin back from the desert?” 

“I’m clean. I swear.” 

“Maybe from the heroin.” 

Seth stands. “Hey, you remember that thing I did for that girl that one time?” 

Richie sighs. “Which time?” 

“The make her sing, bit.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Didn’t Kate tell you she was done on the bus?” 

“She’s not done, brother. We’re not done. We’re never going to be done.” 

“So you’re telling me right now that Kate’s what you want? Even more than heroin?” 

He stiffens. “I’m not an addict. I don’t use it any more than Carlos uses his coke.” 

Carlos walks over to where the two sit taking their break. “I don’t use coke brother. I sell it. There’s a big difference.” 

“Yeah, why do you do that again?” Richie asks. 

“You’ve got to have something to fall back on just in case the music career doesn’t take off. Besides, do you know how many music connections I made because of that? How do you think I got us our deal?” 

Richie shrugs. “Our impressive musical talent?” 

Carlos smiles. “Not a chance. The head of the label happens to be one of my clients. He owed me a favor. We keep this up, we’re going to not only be big rock stars but we’re going to run the entire industry. You know you don’t need a replacement girl, Seth. You can get those plenty. What you need is a replacement fix.” 

“What if I want both?” Seth asks. 

He sits down next to him and pats him on the shoulder. “Then have both, Seth. We’re rock stars, _golden gods_. The world is there for the taking if you want it.” Carlos glances at Santanico. “You think she stays with me out of love? No, that girl stays with me because she needs me. There’s no going back after that.” 

Seth glances at Santanico. “I never knew she was an angel dust fan. She’s always eating salads and shit. Then again, she does have questionable taste in men so…” 

Carlos smacks Seth on the back of the head. “Shut up, asshole. Or I might just need to remind Kate that she can do better. Richie what’s your IQ again?” 

Richie grins. “I don’t brag. That’s crass, Carlos. But it’s higher than Bill Gates.” 

Seth snorts. “Don’t think Kate cares about that. He doesn’t have nice enough hair.” 

Richie crosses his arms over his chest. “And you do?” 

“Maybe not, but I do have better hands.” 

Carlos clears his throat. “I’ve a proposition for you gentleman, then.” 

“What’s that?” both brothers look at him with narrowed eyes. 

“Whoever manages to win Kate over by the end of the night gets a bag of my finest stuff.” 

Richie and Seth exchange looks. 

“I don’t know. Fighting over girls has never been a thing between Richie and me,” Seth comments. 

“And we’re going to keep it that way. Nice try, Carlito,” Richie says. 

“Pussy whipped Pendejos,” he mutters. 

“Carlos?” Santanico calls. “Can you come here and help me for a moment? My costumes stuck on something.” 

Carlos hangs his head and both Richie and Seth laugh at him as he slowly goes to help his girlfriend. 

Spending time with her brother and Dad isn’t too terrible. Jacob insists on taking them to a mini golf place despite Kate and Scott’s groaning. The only ride Jacob won’t go on is the Ferris wheel that leaves brother and sister alone. 

“I heard you talking with Seth earlier today,” Scott says. 

Kate grips the gate. _“What?_

“He was talking about making you sing.” 

Kate groans. “Oh, God. Scott it wasn’t about that. It was about something else. Something you never need to know about. Will you please drop that?” 

He shakes his head. “Mom had us taking music lessons from the time that we were kids. You’ve sung in the church choir for years. Then Mom----“ 

“You know what happened with Mom. She chased around the music scene like some pathetic groupie for years, failed at her own singing career, and the only thing she had to show for it was us and a prescription drug habit.” 

“You’re not Mom, Kate,” Scott says. 

“I can’t even sleep like a normal person without taking pills. It’s just sleep, Scott. It’s something people do on a regular basis. I could be if I’m not careful. I’m not risking it by putting myself in this world. Do you know how hard it is even being here right now around all this? We’ve been performing since we were kids.” 

“You should at least tell Seth. I mean, if anyone is going to get it he is.” 

“Look, I don’t need Seth. I don’t need anyone. I’m doing just fine.” 

“Then how come you spent the other night wandering around in the desert trying to get rid of his heroin? You’re a fixer, Kate. You need to stop fixing other people and try to fix yourself. I bet if you let him he might be able to.” 

Kate sighs. “How’d you find out?” 

“Catalina,” he comments with a smirk, “she’s one of the dancers. She likes guitarists.” 

“You’re _not_ a guitarist,” Kate corrects. 

“Not yet.” 

The Ferris wheel comes to a stop at the very top and Kate glances out at the city. She remembers her Mama singing in early in the mornings, echoing through the house as she cooked breakfast. It makes her heart hurt knowing she is so close to Bethel but that she won’t be able to see it. 

The Fullers head back to the Mohawk for the evening’s performance. This time, they don’t stay backstage. The Mohawks stage is outside and there’s a string of brightly colored, Chinese lanterns hanging over head. The band takes the stage at eight o’ clock on the dot and the crowd goes wild. 

She’s not sure how he could possibly know where she is since she’s a few rows back but Seth’s eyes find her the moment that he takes the stage. It feels like there’s some kind of pull between them. Kate would like to look somewhere else, tries to stare at the ground, at strangers, at the soda in her hand but her eyes are pulled back to his moments later. Even when the show pauses just long enough for Santanico to do her snake dance (that Kate doesn’t really know the purpose of) her eyes are glued to his. 

In the middle of the crowd, Kate hears someone calling her name. “Kate, Kate!” she glances behind her to see where the sound is coming from. 

“Oh my gosh. Kyle?” 

He pushes his way through the crowd, skinny, lanky Kyle with too much hair wearing a flannel shirt and a cross necklace. Kate smiles as she walks towards him. “What are you doing here?” 

“I found out where the band was playing,” Kyle says, “I thought I’d stop by and see you. I hope that’s okay?” 

“That’s amazing.” She hugs him. “I’m so glad that you came.” 

Kyle goes to kiss her but she turns her head upon hearing Seth’s voice on the mic. “So, how is everyone doing out there tonight?” 

The crowd responds enthusiastically. 

“These guys are great,” says Kyle. 

She tilts her head to the side. “You barely saw any of their act.” 

“Yeah well, I um….saw the snake dance.” 

Kate laughs. “Of course you did.” 

“Now everyone,” Seth is talking still, “as a band, we travel with our friends. Now, one of my friends is the very lovely Kate Fuller.” 

Kate realizes that there’s a spotlight on her and the entire crowd has turned to see her. Kyle waves awkwardly, and Kate can’t help but glare at Seth who is smirking because he’s a little shit. The crowd cheers for her. 

“I’ve got a bet going with my friend Kate. See, she thinks that I can’t get her to sing for me.” 

Kate is really scowling now. She looks for her brother who is nowhere to be found but somehow she feels that he had something to do with whatever stunt Seth is trying to pull. The crowd let’s out an “ooo” in response to Seth’s commentary. 

“I bet that I can get her to sing with me,” says Seth, “so what do you say folks? Would you like to hear Katie Cakes sing?” 

The crowd begins to chant her name. Kyle laughs a bit and joins in. She shoots him a glare. “Kyle, c’mon. You can’t be serious.” 

He smiles. “Hey, I always did like your singing Kate. I never understood why you stopped.” 

_Because the last time I ‘sang’ was in the desert with Peyote,_ Kate thinks not that she’s going to say that out loud to her sort of boyfriend. The crowd chants her name louder. Worse, Seth has now jumped from the stage and is making his way with a microphone in hand and guitar strap dangling from his shoulder. Kyle steps back and Kate can’t believe that someone that’s supposed to care about her is backing off so fast. 

He should be helping her get out of there. In fact, she should just run. But Seth’s eyes do that pull thing as he comes towards her like a cat on the prowl. “I think the audience is demanding an encore,” Seth says. 

“We’ve never sang together, you idiot.” 

The crowd ‘ooohs’ again. 

“Well, not publically.” He winks, and the crowd cheers. Kate can feel her hands balling into fists. 

“Alright, asshole. What do you want to sing?” 

“I don’t know. How about one of them classics? I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for the standards.” 

“Because their kind of like you?” 

The crowd is eating the two of them up. Seth looks down, a little bit wounded, but recovers quickly with a glint of his eyes. “Oh no. Because they’re like fire, little lady. Kind of like that ring were in.” 

He starts strumming the familiar tune and the crowd let’s out a whoop. There’s an inexplicable tension going through Kate’s body then that she can’t explain as he nears closer to her, his eyes dark, as he plays the song. “Love is a burning thing, and it makes a firey ring.” He locks eyes with her. 

Kate swallows, and the words are spilling before she knows what to do. “Bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire----“ 

Her voice is covered by the crowd’s cheers. Seth looks at her as if he’d like to take her on the floor right there but swallows hard and keeps on going. “I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down, as the flames went higher. And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire.” 

She takes a shaky breath glancing momentarily at Kyle, who looks like he’s been drenched in cold water. “The taste of love is sweet, when hearts like ours meet. I fell for you like a child, _oh_ but the fire went wild.” 

Seth grins, that devil grin that makes her want to slap him right across the face. “I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, _down_ and the flames went _higher_ and it _burns,_ _burns,_ _burns,_ the ring of fire, the ring of fire.” 

The crowd is strangely silent. It’s the kind of silence that happens when you think you might blink and miss something. Kate fills it, her sweet voice the only sound in the room aside from Seth’s playing. “I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, _down_ and the flames went _higher_ and it _burns,_ _burns,_ _burns,_ the ring of fire, the ring of fire.”

There’s a beat and their voices join together for the very last verse, a dark richness making a sweet, deep sound like angels and devils dueling. “And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire, the ring of fire, _the ring of fire.”_

A long pause hovers over the crowd when they finish. It is her, and Seth, with the light shining brightly on them. He makes the first move, pulling her closer. His fingers dance upon her arms, his breath is on her neck, smelling like the whisky he drank earlier, and then his lips crash onto hers. A moan escapes her mouth. Seth steps back, holding her by the waist with a questioning look on his face. The crowd lets out a wild cheer. Kate glances behind her to see Kyle leaving. She breaks away from Seth to follow after him. 

“Kyle! Kyle!” 

He stops long enough to face her. Kate notices for the first time that he’s crying. “Kyle, I’m sorry.” 

Kyle shakes his head. “You didn’t look real sorry out there, June Carter.” 

“I’m not. We’re not…..he was just messing with me.” 

“But you let him. _You let him_. I almost didn’t come when I got your message. My mama said that the minute you went out on tour with those assholes we’d be over. I told her you weren’t like that. That you were good. But you’re just like your junkie mother. I just hope you don’t end up overdosing in a bathtub like her too.” 

Kate feels sick. “I can’t believe…my god….is that what you really think of me? Of my family?” 

“Everyone knows about your Mama’s past, Kate. She didn’t slit her wrists. That’s just what you told the cops to make it look better.” 

“Go to hell!” she spits. Kate feels her fist against his nose before she has time to process what she’s doing. The crack of her hitting him echoes loudly. Nearby, a security officer rushes forward. 

“Is everything okay?” he asks. 

“That bitch punched my nose!” Kyle exclaims as he tries to stop the bleeding with his hand. “Officer, arrest her.” 

The security guard raises an eyebrow. “I’m not a cop, son.” 

Seth strolls forward with his guitar still in hand. “Kate, you alright?” 

Kate glowers at him. “You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you?” 

“Kate, I----“ 

“Go to hell. Both of you.” 

She storms out of the open air club onto the main street with no idea where she’s going. Kate hasn’t gotten very far when she notices Santanico leaning up against the wall, smoking a cigarette. “You want one?” the dancer asks. “You look like you could use it.” 

Kate shakes her head. “I don’t smoke, thanks. I’m surprised you do.” 

She shrugs. “The easiest diet in the world is cocaine and cigarettes, darling.” Santanico brushes a black strand of hair out of her face. “If it makes you feel better, I told him not to do it.” 

“Thanks, I appreciate that. I’m glad someone around here has some common sense.” 

“You be careful, Kate. I was a lot like you when I first started in this business. It’s easy for it to turn an innocent girl into something dark and twisted.” 

Kate leans back against the wall in the empty space next to her. “I’m not in this business.” 

Santanico laughs. “Oh, you precious thing. If a million people haven’t streamed the video of your Johnny and June performance by the morning I’ll be stunned. Besides, with a voice like yours and him….” 

“I’m not part of this. I never wanted this. I was just trying to stop the same thing that happened to my Mama from happening to Seth.” 

“You want to save people Kate? With a voice like yours, you could save millions, maybe billions.” 

“It’s just singing. It’s not salvation.” 

“Not what Seth thinks,” says Santanico, “clearly not what that audience thought either.” She gestures to a group of people leaving the club that are staring and pointing at her. 

They walk up to her. “Hey, are you Kate? From the performance?” 

Kate raises an eyebrow. “Um. Yes.” 

“Can we get a picture? Or your autograph?” 

She almost laughs but smiles politely and says, “I’m not famous but I’ll let you guys take a picture if you want.” 

“Oh cool! You were so awesome. If you’re not famous now, you totally will be.” The group of strangers huddle around her with their phones and Kate poses awkwardly. When they leave, Santanico smiles at her. 

“See?” 

“That’s nothing,” she insists. 

“Not nothing. I should know. I was you, once upon a time.” 

“What happened?” Kate asked. 

Santanico shrugs. “The world is a cruel place to be a talented young girl in, Kate….and a girls got to eat.” She doesn’t elaborate much further but she does walk away, quietly singing, “And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire, the ring of fire, _the ring of fire.”_


	4. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the video of their performance goes viral, things change for Seth and Kate.

Chapter Four  
The first time Kate’s life changes irrevocably, she is nine. She wakes up to find her Mama on the floor of her bedroom passed out with a bottle of her prescription pills in her hand. The pills are harmless in small doses. Her Mama seemed to have passed that. Like a responsible nine year-old, she calls nine one one. Her Mama is saved. That time. 

The second time Kate’s life is irrevocably changed, she is fifteen years old. The doctor diagnoses her with a sleeping disorder. She can go days without sleep if it means keeping her Mama on a schedule or waking up in the middle of the night to make sure she hasn’t overdosed again. They give her pills to get onto a regular sleep pattern. 

Sometimes it works. But more often than not, Kate finds herself throwing the pills away. Because she needs to know her Mama’s awake. 

Then her Mama dies and she throws the pills away because the only place she can see her Mama is in her dreams. And she doesn’t want to see her Mama right then. 

The third time that Kate’s life changes irrevocably happens after Seth Gecko sings with her. Or more accurately, sings with her and gives her a kiss that is viewed online approximately 350 million times. 

In less than twenty-four hours. 

Kate wakes up the morning after the kiss and the song to the sound of knocking on her door. Seth stands there with his shit eating grin on his face. “Hey there, Princess.” 

She slams the door in his face. 

He knocks again. “Kate, c’mon.”

“Go away,” she shouts. 

“Kate, open the door. Please.” 

“I don’t want to talk to you, Seth. I don’t want to be around you right now. Do you have any idea what you did last night? I broke up with my first, real boyfriend because of you.” 

He laughs. “Well, he was a dick.” 

She opens the door just so that she can glare at him. “You had no right to mess with that. I liked him, Seth. I really did. But feelings don’t matter to Seth Gecko. Oh no, all you think of is hey, you’re pretty, you’re mine.” 

“I didn’t see you stopping me,” he reminds her, “you could have pulled away anytime.” 

“That’s beside the point!” she raises her hands in exasperation. “I just want you to leave me alone.” 

“Are you sure about that?” he asks. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

He shakes his head. “Look before you shut the door in my face again why don’t you look outside.” 

Kate purses her lips together then goes to her bedroom window. They’re on one of the top levels of the hotel so she looks down on the street. The hotel is surrounded by people holding signs that say WE LOVE SETH AND KATE. 

KATE FULLER FOR THE WIN. 

LOS HERMANOS GECKOS RULES. 

KATE FULLER ROCKS. 

SETH AND KATE: OTP.  
As she peers out the window, someone in the crowd notices and starts screaming. Kate pulls away quickly. “What the hell is that?” 

Seth rubs his neck sheepishly. “Those would be your fans, Little Lady.” 

She shakes her head. “There’s no way. They can’t be out there for me.” 

He chuckles. “Of course not. They’re out there for us.” 

She glares. “There is no us.” 

“Uh, well. Here’s the thing. We’ve got a meeting with someone who would like to make sure that there is an us.” 

Kate shakes her head. “You’ve got to be kidding.” 

“I’m not,” he says, “Aiden Tanner is down in the hotel restaurant and he’d like to offer you a record contract.” 

“No. No way. I’m not a singer.” 

“The world seems to think otherwise.” 

“Does that mean I have to sing with you?” 

He shrugs. “Only if you want to. I know I’d love to make you sing again.” He winks at her and she blushes. “But I think he wants you as a solo artist. Carlos might lose his shit again if he has to compete with you on stage.” 

Kate sighs. “I’m just a girl that sang in church.” 

“Look, it’s up to you. But if you want to meet with him he’ll be downstairs in the hotel restaurant for the next ten minutes. He’s not a very patient man.” 

Seth leaves then she goes to the window again. The crowd lets out a cheer when she appears. Kate can’t help but wave at them. She closes her eyes and remembers the feeling of everyone watching them last night. She’d been connected to thousands of souls in that moment. It had been the first time in a long time that she hadn’t felt lonely. 

That the hole her Mama had left was gone. 

When she thinks about singing, she thinks that maybe she can begin to breathe again. Kate steps away from the window. The music lifestyle had destroyed her Mama. She thinks that maybe it might destroy her if she lets it. But then she reasons that her Mama was doing it by herself. 

Slowly, Kate makes her way from the hotel room, down the hall, to the hotel restaurant in a daze. She doesn’t remember sitting down at the table or Seth smiling at her or Aiden Tanner shaking her hand. She knows that paperwork was signed, 

“Well, a good day of business!” Aiden Tanner smacks her on the shoulder. He’s a tall man with side swept blond hair that wears a suit and, for some odd reason, sunglasses inside. “You are going to be the next big thing, little missy. I’d like you and Seth in the studio today to record.” 

Kate blinks. “Record what? I don’t have any songs or anything.” 

“Oh, I thought that I made it perfectly clear. You two are going to record a remake of Ring of Fire. Ain’t that the song you sang last night---“ 

"Yes but---"

“Well that’s what everyone wants right now. So we’re going to give it to them. We’ll put it up on Itunes before the month is out. You’re already on tour, so you can perform with the band and it will give you some exposure. Seth here can help you work on songs for the single and the album in the meantime.” 

Kate blinks. “Wait a minute, I’m going to have to perform with him every night?” 

“I didn’t think I was going to be part of this,” Seth says, “I thought it was just going to be for her. So that she could do her own thing.” 

Aiden chuckles. “The public wants Seth and Kate. We’ve got to capitalize on it now. You know someone’s already started a fanpage for you two?” 

She winces as Aiden pulls it up on his phone. There’s a giant picture from their performance last night that someone has decorated with hearts and sparkles. .She glances over at him. “You did this on purpose.” 

Seth laughs. “I swear to god, Kate, I didn’t.” He squints at the user name that’s been added to the bottom. “But I think Richie did. I can kill him later if you want?” 

She groans. “Seth, we’re not dating.”

Aidren raises an eyebrow. “You’re not dating?” 

Seth squeezes her shoulder. “You’ll have to excuse Kate, Mr. Tanner. She’s never really been comfortable with labels. Would you excuse me for a second while me and the lady have a private conversation? Couple dispute, you know.” 

Kate opens her mouth to speak but Seth is pushing her out of the hotel restaurant before she can get words out. “I wanted to sing. I didn’t know that meant being your show girl. I am not Santanico Seth.” 

“Hey, Santanico is extremely talented with that snake,” he says, “and before you get mad can I just say something?” 

“You’ve already done enough.” 

“Kate, you were happy last night.” 

She rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was pissed last night.” 

He smirks. “Maybe, but you were happy. I watched the video and obviously millions of other people did too. I’m not asking you to do this for me. I’ll be fine if you don’t. But I really think that you should do it for yourself. And I’d like to help, please.” 

She sighs. “You really think I can do this?” 

“I know you can.” He grabs her hand and Kate glances down at it. “Look, just record the single for me. If you don’t like it at the end of the summer I can help you get out of your deal. Hell, I’ll buy you out of your deal.” 

“You sure about this?” 

“I’ve never been surer about anything in my life.” 

She sighs. “There’s just one thing.” 

“What’s that?” 

“We’ve got to put Scott on guitar.” 

He smiles. “I’m cool with that.” 

Somehow, they get a rental car through the hordes of people surrounding the hotel. In a strange twist, both Richie and Scott are with them. “I’m working on sound,” Richie insists the moment he finds out what’s going on. 

“Richard, you really don’t have to come,” Seth says as he narrowly misses a teenage girl trying to take a picture with her phone, “I’m sure the sound guy at the studio will be fine.” 

“This is Kate’s first single,” Richie says, “and you got her into this mess. So we are not going to let her sound like shit.” 

Kate smiles. “Thanks, Richie.” 

“Anytime, Kate,” he answers. 

Seth scowls as he drives which Kate finds funny to no end. 

The place they’re recording at is Big Orange, located in a 100 year-old brick building. The live room where they’ll be recording is set up with everything they need, including a guitar for Scott that has the Los Hermanos Gecko on it. “Oh man. Is that mine?” Scott asks as he picks it up. 

“The record label had it sent over special last night,” Seth says. 

Kate glances at him. “But I didn’t sign the contract until this morning.” 

“Tanner likes to think positive,” he explains, “he booked the space before you said yes.” 

She swallows. “So no pressure, or anything.” 

“Kate, c’mon!” says Scott. “This is going to be so cool. You’re going to be a big rock star and I’m going to be on an actual album. Meanwhile, I’m going to score tones of cute chicks being your baby brother.” 

Kate and Seth exchange glances but both keep quiet. 

“Alright,” says Richie, who has already positioned himself in the sound booth, “put the electric guitar away Scott. Pick up the acoustic.” 

Scott whimpers. “Acoustic? But it will sound so much cooler.” 

Richie shakes his head. “Acoustic will sound better, more romantic.” 

She clears her throat. “Should we be doing anything to warm up?” 

“Why, you nervous?” Seth asks. 

“No. I don’t know. I’ve never recorded a song before.” 

“Look, it’s easy. You just sing into the mic. It’s gonna sound a little weird because you’ll hear your voice on it but you can do it. I’ll be right here with you the entire time.” 

“Comforting.” 

He makes a face but they go to stand by the microphones that are placed so they stand directly across from each other. Kate only has Seth’s face to look at. He only has hers. 

“Alright!” Richie says. “Ring of Fire, take one.” 

Scott begins to play the song. Seth takes the lead, singing as he did the night before. “Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring---“ 

“Bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire.” Kate finishes. 

The two manage to get through the chorus together. “I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down as the flames went higher, and it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire.” 

Seth’s eyes remain locked and steady as he keeps on, “The taste of love is sweet, when hearts like ours meet.” 

“I fell for you like a child, oh, but the fire went wild,” Kate continues. 

The music fills her ears in the headphones. Their voices become joined together as one, with Scott’s soulful guitar playing. Kate has heard the famous song a thousand times before like anyone else but a funny thing happens as they sing it. She isn’t aware of the room, or Scott, or Richie. It’s their voices. It’s him. 

The way he breathes, the way he positions the body just so he’s facing her. Kate would like to be mad at him. She’d like to keep on being mad at him. Her heart still hurts from Kyle, and the words he said the night before. But she thinks maybe she can’t be mad, doesn’t deserve to after the mess the two of them have made. 

Because they’ve made a mess. 

A terrible one, out there for all the world to consume and see. Millions of people, so to speak. There is no turning back and maybe she’d like to but she also wants his skin on hers and for him to just be him. No bullshit or bravado. 

But she can’t help but wonder if now he’ll be chasing her just for the numbers. 

“Guys?” Richie says. “You guys okay?” 

Kate blinks and realizes for the first time that the music has stopped. 

Seth glances around as if disoriented by the room. “Huh?” 

Richie smirks as he talks from the sound booth. “We got it. Not sure how you did it in one take but it’s recorded.” 

“Then we’re done?” Kate asks. 

Richie shakes his head. “Tanner booked the studio for a day. We can’t just record one song. That’d be a waste of hours and money. Tell you what, how about I show Scott around the place and give you two kids some alone time?” 

“Damn it, Richard.” Seth takes the headphones he’s been wearing off and makes his way to the sound booth. He turns the mic off so that Kate and Scott can’t hear what they’re saying on the other side. 

Scott glances at his sister. “You know their arguing about you, right?” 

“Shut up. How do I know they’re not arguing about Richie and you?” 

“Because Richie’s in love with Santanico,” Scott answers, “and I’m very happy with two dancers chasing after me.” 

“Wait, Richie likes Santanico?” 

“Oh, c’mon. The poor guy isn’t exactly secretive about it.” 

“Well how’s Santanico feel about that?” 

He shrugs. “What am I, her psychologist? I don’t know. I do know that it doesn’t matter.” 

“Why would you say that?” 

“Carlos has so much dirt on Santanico he could make sure that she never worked again. He’s already done it once. Why do you think that she’s stuck on a tour dancing with a snake around her?” 

“She’d kind of said something about it but I just didn’t think she was talking about Carlos.” 

“That guy might have a wicked voice but you’ve got to be careful about him.” 

“I’ve got nothing he could want,” Kate says. 

Scott puts down the guitar. “Maybe not right now. Just be careful. I’m glad this happened for you but you know how these people are.” 

“We’ve been around these people for four days, Scott.” 

“Exactly, and they’ve already sucked us in haven’t they?” 

The door to the recording room opens revealing Seth standing there sheepishly. “How do you feel about some song writing time?” 

Kate bites her lip. That means alone time with him. Blissful alone time, without the people to impress, or the peyote or the drugs. “I’ve never actually written a song before.” 

“Carlos usually writes ours,” Seth admits, “but I think between the two of us we can come up with something decent.” 

Richie pokes his head inside the room. “C’mon, Scott. Let’s leave these two alone.” 

“But I’m really okay---“ 

“Now.” 

Scott rolls his eyes. “Subtle, Richie. Real subtle.” Scott gives Kate a warning look then leaves with Richie. 

There’s a couch in the recording room, along with a table that has notebooks and paper. The two of them take a seat. “So what’s your favorite music?” 

“I don’t know,” Kate says, “I mostly listen to gospel.” 

“Gospel,” he repeats and squeezes her shoulder, “I don’t know how you’re the daughter of a roadie, Kate. You should have been the daughter of the preacher.” 

She leans against the couch. “Yeah well, we don’t get to pick our parents.” 

“You like him? Jacob, I mean?” 

She shrugs. “I don’t really know him. He showed up for birthdays and holidays sometimes. You know what he said about us?” 

Seth tenses. “What?” 

“That he’d known guys who had gotten fired for messing with bands affairs. That was all he said. It didn’t matter that I was only eighteen or that it was abundantly clear we’d snuck off in the middle of the desert instead of church the other day. It was like I was the bands property and that was that.” 

He winces. “I’m sorry about that. I don’t think of you as property, Kate.” 

“You could have fooled me.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You didn’t really give me an option when it came to being with you. We fooled around once then you made up your mind that was that. The only person I know less about in this world is Daddy.” 

“I could change that,” he offers, “you want to know the real reason that I have the tattoo?” 

“Besides to hide the track marks?” 

He bites his lip. “Yeah, besides to hide the track marks. You see, my Dad cared even less about me then yours did. He was a mean son of a bitch that couldn’t stand the sight of me. Never gave me any explanation. I just made him angry. But you know what finally took him down?” 

“What?” 

“A lit cigarette,” he answers, “he fell asleep with one in his hand. It burned the whole place down. Richie saved my life. He got me out of there. That’s why I’ve got the flames on my arm….that and I got really, really, drunk in New Orleans.” 

She traces the black ink on his arm. “I’m sorry.” 

He smiles at her. “Yeah well, you don’t get to choose blood. You do get to choose who you love though.” 

Kate sits up. “I like that.” 

“You do?” he asks. 

“Yeah. We’re supposed to write something today aren’t we?” 

“Yeah, but I think Aiden wanted something a little…..less heavy. Something to do with summer lovin’ or something.” 

“Look if we’re going to do this thing I want to do it my way. I want to write songs that help people not just songs that are the next summer hit for five seconds. There’s something there if we try, I bet.” 

He sighs. “It might piss off the old man.” 

“Does it look like I care?” 

“Okay then.” Seth takes out a notebook and a pen. 

The two of them spend the afternoon working out the song. Writing verses, changing lyric’s around, arguing with each other about the right words to use. “I’m telling you that makes it sound cheesy,” Kate insists. 

“I’m telling you, I’m right.” 

“That’s not even a real argument!” 

“It is because it’s a damn good line.” 

“No one’s even heard it yet. How can you be so sure?” 

“Because I’m me.” 

One nearly destroyed notebook later, the two have somehow managed to write the song. When they’re finished, Kate says, “I like it.” 

“I do too,” Seth agrees. 

They are both sitting, more so sprawled, out on the couch. The notebook lays in between them with the pen placed on top. Seth’s leg keeps on bumping hers and she can’t help but smile as she bumps him back. “How much longer do we have the studio for?” she asks. 

“Carlos said we had to be back on the bus at eight.” 

“What time is it now?” 

He looks at his watch. “It’s five thirty.” 

“We’ve got time.” 

The silence in the room is somehow heavy almost. There’s an unasked question hanging in the air that only their eyes say. They both sit up, then start to lean in for the kiss. There’s a knock on the door. 

“You two decent?” Richie’s voice asks from outside. 

Seth let’s out a groan. “Richie.” 

The door pops open as Richie steps in. “Kate, I’d be worried. It should be your name he’s calling. Not mine.” 

Kate smirks. “I guess I’ve got some competition.” 

“Oh no, you can have him. He’s a terrible kisser.” 

“Richie,” Seth hisses, “this had better be important.” 

“There’s been a change in plans. Jimmy Fallon saw the video so he wants us to perform on his show tomorrow night. Specifically, you and Kate with the band.” 

Kate stands up. “Me? But I’m not anybody.” 

“That’s not what the rest of the world seems to think,” Richie says. 

Seth stands up next to her. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” 

“Is it going to help you?” 

“Well…yeah….” 

“Then I guess I’ll do it. It’s not like it will be that big of a crowd, right?” 

“No, but it will be on live television,” Richie says. 

She swallows. “That’s fine. It’ll be great. No big deal.” 

“Kate,” Seth says with a worried tone in his voice. 

“I can do this,” she lies, because she knows it will make him happy if she does. He looks skeptical, but keeps quiet. 

“Good. Because we’ve got to be on a plane like now. Your stuff is already to go. We just need the two of you.” 

“Okay,” says Kate. 

“You sure?” Seth asks. 

“Positive.” 

Seth looks skeptical but he grabs the notebook with their song and the two of them head out despite that. He holds their hand on the drive to the airport and doesn’t stop holding it during the entire trip. 

“Just remember,” he says before the plane lands, “anytime you want to walk away you can walk away.” 

She takes a deep breath. “I know. I know.” The words sound like a lie. Because she remembers the feeling of singing with him and that’s not something she’s prepared to give up yet. Even if it means she might crash and burn herself.


	5. We're ash now, darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth fucks things up because that is what he does.

Chapter Five   
They say that blood runs thick   
But sometimes they’re not the ones that stick   
When times were rough they weren’t the ones on my side   
It was only you darling   
So when things get tough I come on home to you   
Because you can’t chose blood   
But you can choose who you love   
Family never cared too much about me   
I was a little bit of a black sheep   
But when I see you by my side   
I know I’m gonna be just fine   
Because you can’t choose blood   
But you can choose who you love   
No you can’t choose blood   
But you can choose who you love   
Got a devil inside of me   
Sometimes they just don’t know how to accept this is how it’s got to be   
Even though I love them with my whole heart   
There were some things only you were there from the start   
Because you can’t choose blood   
But you can choose who you love   
They spend the day working on their song. It’s the two of them with Seth’s guitar, rehearsing. Alone. In a hotel room. If Jacob Fuller has any comments about his daughter going across the country with a rock band to perform on live television he hasn’t said anything. He’s kept all but quiet about the record deal, despite Scott not shutting up about how excited he is to record the guitar for it. 

In fact, Jacob doesn’t come with them to New York. He decides to take the time out to get a few days off. 

Kate wants to be angry except she’s too nervous about the performance. It will be on live television. She’s never performed before. Not really. Seth making her sing hardly counts, and church choir is completely different. 

“Are you okay?” Seth asks as the two of them sit on the floor of the room. 

“I think I’m….adjusting.” It’s a bit of a lie. Inside, she is screaming. Because she is not a singer. Not a performer. And her Mama lost herself trying to be part of that world. She doesn’t want to lose herself. 

“Well, you’ll be alright. I’ll be right there with you the entire time. I promise.” 

“You think anyone is actually going to watch?” 

He reaches out to take her hand. “I will be.” 

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I think unless someone has a dancing monkey on somewhere, we’ve got half a shot,” he tells her, “though a dancing monkey would be pretty hard to beat.” 

She rolls her eyes. “You’re impossible.” 

“That’s my specialty.” 

“We should try writing more,” Kate says, “but I think I want to try writing at least one by myself.” 

“You can do that,” says Seth, “got anything in particular you want to write about?”   
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I’ve got so much bubbling inside me lately. It’s a good thing that you did make me sing. I don’t think I would have been able to let it all out if you hadn’t. Who knows what would have happened then?” 

He raises an eyebrow. “Kate Fuller, did you just admit that I’m right?” 

“Well, not in so many words.” 

“You did. You admitted that I was right. You are glad that I made you sing.” 

“For the moment,” she says, “for the moment.” 

“I am just tickled pink, Little Lady.” 

She glances at him. “You think I’ll be able to do this alone when the time comes?” 

“I know it,” he says. 

“You know….there’s something I’ve got to ask. Why is Carlos the lead singer and not you?” 

He shrugs. “I never thought much about it. Richie and I started the band, and Carlos has always been one of our friends. He’s the showman. He came up with the dancing girls, the name. He writes the songs too. We didn’t even really think about being professional until he found that Tanner guy. It was just a way for us to blow off steam.” 

“This life is what you want though?” 

“It beats the alternative. If it weren’t for the band I’d be working some shitty, minimum wage job or a lowlife criminal somewhere I’m sure. Not much a high school dropout can do, you know? Anyway, Richie seems to like it. He’s not too good with people as you might’ve noticed. Performing helps him with that. It gets him out of his head. He’s always got some sort of plan. I think he’d like to do the business side of things at some point but I don’t think he’s willing to let the shows go.” 

“Because of Santanico?” Kate guesses. 

Seth looks at her suspiciously. “Is it that obvious?” 

“Only because Scott mentioned it. I’ve been a little too…preoccupied with you to notice, truthfully. What’s the deal with them?” 

He runs his hands through his hair nervously. “Who knows? Richie’s had a hard on for that chick ever since Carlos first brought her around. He said something about a thing at a bar but he didn’t go into too much detail. I think he doesn’t want her getting into trouble. Thing about Carlito is, he’s always looking for the next big thing. God help the sorry son of a bitch who tries to get in his way.” 

“So why keep him around?” 

“There’s no band without him.” 

“You think he’s going to be okay with all of this?” 

“I think it doesn’t matter. You like singing with me?” 

“Yes.” 

“Then that’s the only thing I care about.” 

There’s a knock on the door. “Everybody decent?” Richie asks. 

“Richard.” Kate laughs at the irritability in Seth’s voice. His brother slowly opens the door and comes inside. 

“What? You’ll thank me later, Seth. If I put the idea in Kate’s head maybe one of these days you two will actually be indecent.” Richie winks at her. “We can only hope. He gets a little cranky when he hasn’t been taken care of.” 

“What about you, Richie?” Kate asks. 

He stiffens. “Er, well. The only love in my life right now is Horchata. It causes less stress than people.” 

Seth laughs. “Whatever you say, brother. Maybe you can call Vanessa. Catch her on one of her off days.” 

Richie clears his throat. “Funny you should mention that. You see, I was going to bring you two kids out to get you ready for the show but there’s a slight problem.” 

Seth’s face falls. “Don’t tell me she’s here.” 

He swallows. “I tried to stop her. I really did, but she’s waiting in the lobby and she won’t leave until she talks to you. Seth, you’ve got to get her out of here. She keeps on trying to get me to go back to rehab. She’s worried about my ‘violent tendencies’ and thinks it would be best for the band.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “What violent tendencies?” 

“Exactly,” says Richie, “now can you please come deal with her? She scares me. Just a little bit.” 

He glances at Kate. “Are you okay if---“ 

She nods. “Go. It’s not right that you were lying about Richie in the first place.” 

He pushes himself up off the floor, leaves the guitar by the bed, and then heads downstairs. Vanessa waits for him in the lobby. She stands there with her hands on her hips, her eyes dancing with rage. “Seth.” 

He stiffens. “Vanessa.” 

The two of them stare daggers at each other. “You lied to me,” she says finally. 

“Vanessa, honey, that’s not what----“ 

“You lied to me, Seth. You lied to me about your brother, you lied to me about the drugs, and don’t think I didn’t notice that little girl that came out of nowhere.” 

“I didn’t lie to you about her! I’ve known her for four days. Jesus, she’s Jacobs’s daughter.” 

“Is she even legal Seth?” 

“Yes!” he says. “Not that it’s any of your business but yes, she is.” 

Vanessa puts her hands on her hips. “You made a joke out of me.” 

Seth notices for the first time that the concierge at the front desk is watching them. “Look…can we do this somewhere that isn’t here?” 

“Fine, how about your room?” she suggests. 

“Er, not there.” 

She rubs her forehead. “You’ve got to be kidding me. She’s there, isn’t she?” 

“We’re not together, Vanessa. You made it abundantly clear that you didn’t want anything to do with me. Even after you found the ring.” 

She sighs. “Can we just go somewhere to talk about this civilly? Like adults, if you think that you can manage that?” 

He huffs, but the two of them leave the hotel. They walk in stiff silence until they find a restaurant. Vanessa takes a coffee, Seth doesn’t take anything. He’s lost his appetite. 

“You’re losing yourself in the circus again,” she says, “you’ve done this every time you’ve gone on tour. It’s like everything normal goes out the window.” 

“This is my normal.” 

“It’s crazy, Seth. That’s what it is. Remember what we were like before all of this mess? We used to be good together. We had a plan. We were gonna open a bar, start a family.” 

He leans back in the booth. “That plan was ridiculous. That bar never would have worked. Besides, it wasn’t just me that screwed things up Vanessa. You want to know why it took you so long to find out about the drugs.” 

“Because you lied.” 

“Because you were never there,” he reminds her, “we were good together when we weren’t working. But you love being a manager, Vanessa. You’re good with your clients. Just like I like playing guitar. You are not Vanessa Styles without your job like I’m not Seth Gecko without music.” 

“So where does that leave us?” Vanessa asks. 

He puts his hands on the table. “There’s no us. There hasn’t been an us for a long time.” 

She brushes a strand of her black hair back behind her ear. “Just tell me something. You swear you weren’t with that girl when we were together? Because I swear to god, if I find out she was some groupie you kept hidden on the bus---“ 

Seth hangs his head. “You got me. She was there this whole time. Picked her up in El Paso. She’s also a drug mule.” 

Vanessa narrows her eyes. “Damn it, Seth! You can be such an asshole.” 

“Well I’ve got to have some talents besides playing guitar don’t I?” He smirks at her, and she shakes her head. “Look, you want to come to the show tonight?” 

“To watch you and the little school girl sing? No thanks. I think I’ll pass.” 

“She’s not a school girl.” 

Vanessa rolls her eyes. “Whatever makes you sleep at night. But tell me, does she scratch your back like I used to or is she too innocent for that?” 

Seth licks his lips. He remembers vividly the red marks her nails used to leave from digging into his skin as they fucked. “Oh, you are good.” 

“In all of the wrong ways, Seth,” she says, “you really sure you can give all of that up?” 

Vanessa leans across the table. One of her hands has gone in underneath the table, and its inching up Seth’s leg. He lets out a groan as he knows where this is going. “Bathroom,” he hisses, as he gets up from the booth. 

The two slink off to the “family” bathroom of the restaurant. Seth locks the door, then pushes Vanessa up against the wall. She is wearing a slinky, black dress that he pushes up her thighs easily as she goes for his pants. “C’mon baby,” she says in between kissing each other greedily, “I want to make you feel good.” 

He grunts in acknowledgement. Her hands are down his boxers, gripping his length in her hands as she strokes her hands up and down, up and down. He feels himself becoming hard at her touch. His own hands are gripping her ass, pressing her waist into him. “God damn it, woman.” 

She grins as she twists the head of his cock. Seth stiffens against her, his eyes closed, and then he goes for the panties in underneath her dress. He smiles a bit as he realizes that they aren’t even there. He strokes her clit, until he makes her slick, wet and ready, while her nails dig into his shoulder until she makes him bleed. 

It’s the pain that makes him pull away. “Shit.” 

Vanessa looks at him with a pout. “I wasn’t finished.” 

“I am,” he says, “you know you say that I get caught up in the circus Vanessa. But you get caught up in it just as much as me. That’s why we were even together in the first place right? So you could escape?” 

“Seth---“ 

He pulls up his pants. “No. We need to face the facts. We’re both users, you’re just a different kind.” 

Vanessa adjusts her dress. “We could have been good together. I mean that.” 

He shakes his head. “You can’t be good with someone if you can’t fully be yourself with them.” Seth pushes his way out of the bathroom, ignoring the stares of the restaurant patrons who are all fully aware of what he’s been doing. He glances down at his watch and realizes for the first time that he is fucking late. With luck, he gets a taxi and makes it to the studio. 

He is still forty-five minutes late. 

Seth gets backstage to find Richie waiting for him with a frown on his face. “Where the hell have you been?” his brother demands, and then he sees the scratch marks on his shoulder. He frowns. “You didn’t.” 

His stomach sinks. “I couldn’t help it, Richie.” 

“Shit Seth! You were supposed to go on and sing love songs with Kate. I just sent her out there on her own.” 

“On her own?” Seth says, and he pushes his brother out of the way. He still remembers the uncomfortable look Kate had on the plane when they talked about the performance. He’s about to go on stage but he’s stopped by one of the crew. 

“You can’t go out there man, they’re filming,” says a woman wearing a ball cap carrying a notepad with her. 

“C’mon! I’m supposed to be singing with her.” 

“The performance has already started,” she says, pushing him back. Seth frowns but hears the familiar chords of the song they were working on earlier and Kate’s sweet voice singing it. Scott is up on stage with her serving as guitarist. 

She wears a light, pink dress with her brown hair falling in light curls down her face and looks surprisingly calm. The audience has that stillness to it the way that it did when they performed together. It isn’t just them that brings out that reaction in people. It’s her. He smiles as he watches and then remembers the scratch marks on him. 

Shit. 

 

Shit, shit, shit. 

Kate finishes to the sound of roaring applause. Fallon reminds the crowd of who she is, thanks her for the performance, and tells a little fib about her EP being “due out soon”. She bows with her brother and exits the stage. 

Seth goes to hug her as she comes back stage but she jerks out of his way before he can even touch her. “No,” she says harshly. 

“Kate….” 

“You told me that you were going to be there for me, Seth. You didn’t even show. Do you know how scared I was? I almost didn’t go on. Thank god Scott made me go on with him. It was amazing but you know what wasn’t amazing? The fact that you lied to me.” She stops ranting just long enough for her to notice the marks on his shoulders. 

Her face pales. “Oh my god.” 

“Kate, it’s not what you-----“ 

“Oh my god.” 

She runs away from him. Seth follows, pushing his way past people, calling her name repeatedly trying to get her to stop. She doesn’t stop until she is out on the street, and she falls to her knees because she can’t stand anymore. 

Kate finds herself laughing hysterically. She laughs until there are tears in her eyes. She can’t stop, because the ground is spinning, and somehow that makes things funnier. But the laughing has turned to hyperventilating, and the hyperventilating isn’t showing signs of stopping. 

_Breathe, just breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe._

**Can’t breathe.**

“Kate, Kate.” Seth is down on the ground next to her. He wraps his arms around her trying to make her calm but somehow, that makes it worse, and the sobs come, with uncontrollable hiccupping. 

It’s the first time she’s cried in the weeks since finding her Mama dead. It’s as if she’s unleashed a storm inside of her that shows no signs of stopping until she tears everything apart. She’d like to tear Seth apart, because he is a fucking bastard. 

But he is the only thing keeping her steady so she lets him hang onto her. “Help!” he calls. “Someone help.” 

She can’t calm herself down. It’s as if someone has left the door open and taken away the key to whatever calm she once felt. Kate doesn’t remember what happens next because she blacks out, only vaguely remembering the feeling of Seth’s arms wrapped around her. 

Three days. 

Three days of pacing and hospitals. 

Three days of Jacob Fuller looking at him like he was the fucking devil. 

Two days of Scott Fuller beating the shit out of him for trying to visit Kate before Richie eventually gets him to calm down enough to help him sneak inside her room for a few minutes. 

The paparazzi swarm the hospital all eager for a glimpse of the two singers that have somehow become the darling couple of the internet. Seth wants to beat every one of those bastards to a pulp and tell them to go watch some other lie. Because they are a lie. They are not even a couple. They are not “the new Johnny and June” as the reporters have dubbed them. 

They are ash, because he set fire to everything they had and watched it burn all for a little almost breakup sex. 

He spends the rest of his time in the hospitals chapel. He’s not a religious man. He and God don’t really get along. But Kate’s little speech about having faith keeps on echoing in his head so he goes there anyway. 

He thinks about praying. Instead, he just hangs his head and sits in mind numbing silence. 

It isn’t long before he feels a hand on his shoulder. “You’re a fool, Seth.” 

He glances up to see the last person he expected there. Santanico is dressed in a light, blue church dress looking strangely innocent without her show makeup and the scent of sex on her. “Thanks for the words of comfort,” he drawls. 

“Fame is not for everyone,” she says, as she sits in the pew next to him, “certainly not for someone as innocent as Kate. You have to have a hard soul to always be giving it away. There’s nothing hard about her.” 

“Yeah, well I don’t buy that.” 

She tilts her head to the side. “No?” 

“No,” he says, “Just because this industry made you hard doesn’t mean it’s gonna do that to her. She can share her music and still be who she is.” 

“You think I became like this by choice?” the dancer laughs. “I was just like her once. Someone told me I had a pretty voice, and I thought I could be a singer. I went on auditions only to be asked to take my clothes off instead of sing. They were never going to take me seriously but performing was the only thing that I knew how to do. So I made it work. But Kate----“ 

“Kate’s going to be fine,” he snaps. 

Santanico straightens so that she is leaning up against the back of the pew. “Kate still has a lot of options. She could walk away from this okay. But she won’t do that as long as she thinks she has to take care of you.” 

“Santanico, if you don’t fuck off---“ 

She mutters something in Spanish he doesn’t quite catch but he thinks he understands the word for “asshole”. Just as she is about to get up from the pew, Seth stands, and glares down at her with his arms crossed. “You want to talk about options. You ever gonna let my brother go?” 

She clears her throat. “Qué?” 

“Don’t play innocent with me, sister. I’ve seen the looks you two sneak when you think no one is watching. Richie’s a good guy. He doesn’t deserved to be played with either.” 

It’s her turn to be angry. “You know nothing, Seth Gecko.” 

“You too, San. You too.” 

She exits the chapel, slamming the door behind her. Seth glances up at the statue of Christ on the cross that hangs up on the wall. He almost bows his head to pray but he thinks his soul is too choked with heroine for anyone up there to even give him a second glance let alone listen. So he leaves because there’s really no place for him there. 

Jacob leaves after Scott forces him to actually go get something to eat. They don’t go too far, just the hospital cafeteria, but it gives Seth enough time to sneak in. He sits in the chair next to Kate’s bed. 

He’s there when Kate wakes up. 

She blinks as if the sunlight streaming in from the window is too bright. When she sees him, her face falls. It’s like a punch in the gut. 

“What are you doing here?” she demands. 

“I’ve been here since you were admitted. Kate, what the hell were you thinking?” 

Kate sits up in bed, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she does. “You don’t get to lecture me on taking care of myself. You were the one who was putting that shit into your system. If anyone should be getting a lecture right now, it’s you.” 

“They refilled your prescription,” Seth says, “You should have been taking them.” 

“You know what happens when you go to sleep? You have nightmares. Or you miss things. When I was little, I never knew if my Mama was going to be alive or dead when I woke up in the morning. She’d sneak the pills the night before so I just stopped sleeping. Now when I sleep, I just see myself missing things again.” 

“You can’t think like that.” 

“I’m not taking advice from you,” she sneers, “especially not after what you did. Everything out of your mouth is lie but I shouldn’t expect anything less. You are an addict.” 

“And your destructive,” he returns. 

“Please leave. I just can’t…I can’t look at you right now.” 

“Kate, we’re supposed to sing together at the next show. You are going to have to talk with me eventually.” 

“I’ll sing with you, because this music thing is the only happiness my little brother has right now. But I don’t have to talk with you. Ever. In fact, I’d rather talk to Richie.” 

He sits up straight in his chair. “Richie?” 

“Yeah, could you get him for me please?” 

He frowns. “Sure, sure. I’ll get Richie. No problem.” He goes to leave but pauses by the door. “You know I didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“It doesn’t change the fact that you did.” 

Seth hangs his head because he knows that she’s right. He heads out to the waiting room where Richie has been with him the entire time. His brother stands when he sees him. 

“You look like shit.” 

“I feel like shit,” he confesses. 

“You should, brother,” Richie says. “She awake yet?” 

He nods. “Of course, she doesn’t want to talk to me. Funnily enough, she asked me to get you when she woke up.” 

Richie adjusts his glasses. “That’s an interesting development.” 

“Yeah well. You better go.” 

Richie stands and heads into the hospital room. She smiles. “Hey there Richie.” 

“Hey there, Kate.” 

There’s a pause because they haven’t spent that much time together separately. Richie fiddles with his hands, and Kate clears her throat. “I want to get inside the studio.” 

“You just woke up. Shouldn’t you----“ 

“I’ve had plenty of rest. I’m fine. I just need to get out of the hospital, and I need to write something, because if I don’t I might just start screaming.” 

Richie sighs. “Well, El Rey records does have a studio here. Let me see what we can do about getting you released. But are you sure you don’t want to do this with Seth? I think you’ve got some things that you need to talk about. I’m sure he had his reasons for being late.” 

“Yes, and you know what they were Richie. They were the scratch marks on his arms.” 

He frowns. “I’m sure it wasn’t---“ 

“Look, I don’t want to hear excuses for him. I just want to get him out of his system. So can we please go to the studio? Please?” 

 

“Okay okay. Let me just get your Dad and we’ll talk to the doctors about getting you released.” 

Jacob naturally isn’t too happy about the whole thing. When Richie does find him, Scott, and the doctors the three of them all stand there with very serious looks on their faces peering down at her making her stomach clench. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Jacob says, “You were admitted for exhaustion. This whole thing was a mess. I wasn’t even informed about the contract. The last thing that you need is to be caught up in this world.” 

“I think Dad’s right, Kate,” agrees her brother. 

She shoots him a look. “Come on, Scott. You love music just as much as I do. You were the one who wanted me to do it in the first place.” 

“And I feel really guilty about that,” he admits, “because if I hadn’t pushed you wouldn’t be in here right now.” 

“It wasn’t the music that did this, Scott. We just lost Mama. No one’s talking about it. Everyone’s just pushing it aside like something that needs to be forgotten. But I can’t forget about it. That’s what I see when I sleep. I see her in my dreams all of the time and I just can’t do it.” 

Jacob takes a seat in the chair that’s across from her bed. “Katie Cakes, I’m not trying to forget your mother. I just don’t feel like I deserve to talk about her. I failed. I failed you, I failed Scott. I wasn’t there for you the way that I should have been. But you are right. We can’t forget Jenny.” 

“I haven’t forgotten,” says Scott, putting a hand on Dads shoulder, “I can’t forget either but sometimes it’s easier not to say her name. Because saying it out loud when she’s not going to be here anymore seems wrong.” 

“And I can’t lose either of you,” Jacob says, “so please, can’t you just wait? It’s been a little bit of a mess. But you need to take some time and get better.” 

“Dad, you’ve ignored me since we got here. When I told you what was going on with Seth, the only thing you said was that you thought you could lose your job over interfering with the bands affairs. Doctor, is there any reason I can’t be released today?” 

“Well no, but---“ 

“Good. I’m eighteen. I’d like to release myself, please.” 

“Kate, I think you should listen to your family,” Richie tells her. 

“Shut up, Richard,” she says as she grabs the discharge papers from the Doctor. 

They let her out of the hospital despite the protests of Jacob and Scott. Scott won’t go to the studio with her though. He’s too pissed. But Richie comes, and tells the Fuller men he’ll keep an eye on her.

“I think you’re being an idiot,” he comments as they get inside one of the recording studios at El Rey records. 

“Richie, you don’t get it. Your brother got me into this mess. I was perfectly happy in my nice, quiet little world and then all of the sudden I’m in his. And there’s no going back. But if I’m going to survive here, I’m going to make it my own. I can’t do that if I’ve still got his mistakes all over me. I need to get him out okay?” 

The younger Gecko takes a breath. “You know I don’t think you two are ever gonna realize just how alike you are.” 

“Richie.” She scrunches up her face in annoyance and he laughs because he can’t take her seriously like that. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. I get it though.” 

Kate bites her lip. “So you’ll help me write?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll help you write. He’s gonna kill me for this later you know that?” 

She laughs and the ache that’s been in her chest starts to feel a little bit better. 

Seth doesn’t hear from Richie or Kate all day. He tries to call his brother but he ignores him, and he realizes that in the time he’s known her he never got Kate’s number. All he can think about is them alone in the studio, writing songs and singing together. It makes his hands shake. Only, he’s never been good at controlling his rage so instead of just letting them shake he ends up smashing the hotel room flat screen and punching a hole through the wall. 

Just to begin with. 

By the end of the day, he makes a trip down to the concierge and gives them a check for $5,000 dollars in exchange for the hissy fit he threw without batting an eyelash. 

The concierge just looks at him blankly. “What’s this for?” 

“Trust me. You’ll see.”


	6. To Be Ripped Apart and Put Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth and Kate fight. A lot. And then maybe makeup. A lot.

Chapter Six   
It’s in Boston when the fight between them escalates to the breaking point. They’ve been alternately performing and not speaking for about a week. But something happens that changes the game leading to an epic screaming match that no one can really pin point the beginning or end of. The only thing anyone knows is that they are supposed to perform their last show that night and Kate won’t come out of her dressing room. 

Scott stands outside his sister’s door. “Kate, c’mon. You are supposed to be going on in a few minutes.” 

“I’m not going anywhere near him,” Kate says. 

Carlos pushes Scott aside. “Let me.” 

“Because you two get along so well?” 

“I’ll have you know that Kate and I have had several very serious, heartfelt conversations.” 

Scott snorts at him. “Talking with her about whether or not you should change your workout routine doesn’t count.” 

“Work out routines are very important,” Carlos insists, “I have to have stamina in order to stay on stage for as long as we do.” 

“Bro, no.” 

Carlos pushes him out of the way. “Kate, may I remind you that you have a record contract that says you are obligated to perform with him every night for the rest of the tour.” 

“I’m not going anywhere near him.” 

“Kate, what did he do?” 

“He’s an idiot,” says Kate, “an idiot that I’m never speaking to again.” 

“We don’t care if you speak to him again. We just need you to sing with him,” presses Scott, “there’s a lot of people out there that paid to see you.” 

“I can’t. It hurts too much.” 

Scott glances at Carlos. “We’re going to have to improvise if those two aren’t going sing. The crowd wants romance. We’ve got to give them something.” 

Carlos smirks. “Kate, would you sing with me if you won’t sing with Seth?” 

There’s no answer. 

“I think I’ve shocked her,” says Carlos. 

The younger Fuller shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s it. Usually if Kate’s quiet in the middle of a fight like this there’s only one reason.” 

“What’s that?” 

Scott pushes the door open by ramming his shoulder into it. The dressing room is empty but the window is wide open. “Fuck.” 

Carlos steps in. “You’ve got to be kidding me. She’s gone?” 

He nods. “Gone. What are we going to do?” 

“I’m going to get Santanico. We’ll perform together,” Carlos says, “I can fix that part but you need to go find your sister. Preferably before your father or Seth finds out.” 

“Finds out what?” Of course, it’s Seth. Seth has this uncanny ability to know when there’s anything wrong with Kate. He pops up at a moment’s notice even though he is the last person that she wants to see. 

“It’s nothing,” Scott lies. 

“Try again Little Fuller,” Seth says, “what’s wrong with Kate? Other than the fact that she’s still pissed at me.” 

He takes a breath. “She snuck out. She’s gone.” 

Seth rubs his forehead. “Christ, you’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“I wish I were.” 

“Scott, you are going to stay here. You’re going to play guitar. Don’t let Jacob find out about this.” 

“Seth, that’s my sister. If anyone is going to go out there looking for her it’s going to be me.” 

“You’re seventeen. I can’t have you going around a city by yourself. Besides, it’s me she’s pissed at. It’s me she’s putting on the chase for.” 

“What the hell did you do?” Scott demands. “She won’t tell anyone.” 

“I fucked up,” is all he will admit. He walks out of the night club they’re supposed to be performing in. 

It’s in the middle of summer, and it’s raining. Everything is grey and brick. The cities old ghosts seem to follow Seth as he walks through the streets with the statues remembering the past looming overhead. He doesn’t have a car because they’ve been travelling by bus. His only advantage is that Kate doesn’t have a car either. 

Really, he understands her being mad about Vanessa. He fucked up. It shouldn’t have happened. He asked Kate to change her whole life for him then he went back to being a bastard. Because that is what he is good at doing. What he can’t understand is her being mad about the other thing. 

Because it had been meant to be a romantic gesture. He had wanted her to know he was in it for the long haul. 

But Kate saw it differently and Seth couldn’t fathom why. 

He rubs his shoulder on his non flame side, the tattoo still stinging besides being a few days old. Though if he wanted to be perfectly honest it probably wasn’t the tattoo she was pissed about but the state that he’d gotten the tattoo in. 

Meaning he’d been angry and high as fuck. 

He wanders without any real direction until he reaches the Boston Common. The park is nearly deserted at night except for the occasional homeless person sleeping on a bench. Eventually, as if pushed by the wind, he finds the Soldiers and Sailors monument. 

And Kate. 

She stands in front of it smoking a cigarette in the rain. 

“You don’t smoke,” he comments as she inhales. 

“I don’t,” she admits, “but Richie left them the last time that we were in the studio. I stole them. I just wanted something to do with my hands really.” 

“I could help you there.” 

Kate laughs, though it comes out a little forced. She offers him one.

Seth takes it, and lights it with the lighter he keeps in his pocket. “I think this is the most civil conversation we’ve had in days.” 

“This is the only conversation we’ve had in days. Fights don’t count as conversations.” She puts the cigarette out. 

“Suppose not.” 

The sound of the rain sounds like the beat of a drum. Pitter patter, pitter patter on the ground. Neither of them are wearing jackets. He finds it hard to believe it’s the middle of summer at that moment when it feels cold enough to be January. 

“Look, Kate I’m---“ 

She clears her throat. “Please don’t say sorry. I can’t take it. Especially when I know that you’re only doing it so that I’ll perform with you. That’s all this ever is wasn’t it? You just wanted something to spice up your act.” 

A laughs escapes him. “Shit. You think that’s what this is about? Little Lady, you have no idea.” 

She squints. “No idea about what?” 

“You remember how you said that you didn’t want to sleep because that was the only place you could see your Mama?” 

She brushes back a strand of her hair and nods. “Sure I do.” 

“That’s why I shot up.” 

Kate frowns. “Is that supposed to be romantic? I’m not going to be your excuse to shoot yourself full of venom, Seth.” 

“No. You know how your memories from childhood are hazy? More like dreams then real memories?” 

She nods. 

“That was why I started using. I lost my Mom too, Kate. Only she didn’t die. She walked out. Just picked up one day and we never saw her again. The first time I used I think I saw her face.” 

Kate bites her lip. “It’s not real. None of it is.” 

“I know.” 

“We can’t keep hiding from it. We’ve got to deal with our problems. You don’t just get to check out. It’s not fair. That’s exactly what they did and we’re no better than them if we keep on doing it.” 

“Never thought of it like that.” 

“Well you should.” 

Seth can see their breath in the cool night air. “If we stand out here any longer, we’re both going to catch cold.” 

“I can’t believe it’s raining this hard in the summer.” 

“Neither can I.” 

She wraps her arms around herself. Seth wishes that he had a jacket for her. Instead, he puts one arm around her shoulders. “Do you think you’ll ever not hate me?” 

Kate smiles. “You make that impossible.” 

“Good to know where I stand.” 

“Not that it matters. Even if I hate you, you are always going to have to carry me around thanks to that stupid tattoo you idiot. I still can’t believe you did that. I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t be mad about it.” 

Seth glances at the one arm that doesn’t have flames licking his skin where Kate is inked in cursive. “You weren’t speaking to me at all. I had to do something to get your attention. Desperate times call for desperate measures.” 

“How do you know we’re even going to be a permanent thing?” 

He pulls her closer to him. “I don’t know. What I do know is that I spent a lot of time wanting to check out. Even when I was with Vanessa everything was a blur because I never felt like I was good enough. But with you I don’t want to check out. I want everything to be clear. I want everything to be real, even all of the bad shit. That’s worth remembering even if we don’t last.” 

She takes a shaky breath. “You can’t use again, okay? There’s been enough hospitals on this tour. When I found you back in New York….I thought you were dead.” 

“I thought we were over,” he admits. 

The room was trashed when Kate finds him. She gets back after spending the day in the studio recording a song that is a lot of pent up anger and harsh guitars. At first she wants to yell at him but yelling isn’t possible. Seth is unconscious on the bed with a needle next to him. It takes both Carlos and Richie to get him out of the drug induced stupor. She doesn’t remember much after that except she thinks at some point she threw a vase at his head. 

She didn’t notice the tattoo until the day after. 

Then she threw a second vase at his head. 

“Everything has been madness since I got here. I think we just need to focus on the tour. If we keep on going like we’ve been we’re just going to rip each other apart.” 

“Tour. Right.” He clenches his jaw. 

“I’m sorry but neither of us is in a good enough place right now to be anything.” 

He steps back. “You sure this doesn’t have anything to do with Richie?” 

She tilts her head to the side. “What are you talking about?” 

“I’m talking about you and my brother. You’ve been spending an awful lot of time together in between gigs at the studio.” 

“That’s because he’s helping me make a record thanks to the deal that I signed because of you in case you’ve forgotten.” 

“What about the kiss?” he demands. 

“What kiss?” 

“I walked in on you two kissing at the studio weeks ago. That’s why you’ve been avoiding me. ” 

Kate laughs. “You need to spend more time sober, Seth.” 

“I wasn’t…..it wasn’t heroine,” he says, “but….but it might have been cocaine that time but I know what I saw.” 

“I’ve never kissed Richie. We’re friends, but he drives me up the wall sometimes. Besides all he ever does is talk about you. He’s been your wingman since the beginning. He would never even consider kissing me.” 

“But there was someone.” 

“Santanico,” Kate says, “it was Santanico. That’s why Richie and I have been spending so much time together aside from the fact that we’re recording. The studio is the only place those two can be alone without Carlos breathing down their necks. I just pretend that I’m with Richie most of the time so that they can be together. I also keep Richie distracted so that Carlos won’t notice those two love struck idiots gazing at each other.” 

Seth scratches his head. “Shit. I honestly thought----“ 

“That you had some kind of hold over my personal life? Seth, we’re not together. We’re not going to be together either until you stop doing dumb things like destroying hotel rooms and going on drug addled trips.” 

“I wouldn’t need the drugs if I had you.” 

“I can’t be your replacement fix. I’m just a girl. That’s too much to ask of me. I tried being that for my Mama. It destroyed her, and then it nearly destroyed me. I’ll perform with you. I’ll even be your friend. But I’m not going to wreck my life trying to put yours together because that is what I do every, single time. So you can have me as your friend or you can have me as nothing.” 

He sighs. “That tattoo wasn’t stupid.” 

The young girl laughs. “It’s Wino Forever all over again.” 

“Yeah, but Depp could have erased the whole thing. He didn’t. So that wasn’t a mistake either. Just tell me something.” 

“What’s that?” 

“If the universe ever aligns do you think that maybe you and I could give it a try?” 

She shakes her head. “I don’t think it’s about the universe aligning. I think it’s about people being kind to themselves. Be a little kinder to yourself Seth and maybe we can make this thing work.” 

He smiles. “Well, at least that’s not a no.” 

“It’s not a no.” 

Lightning strikes overhead making her jump. “C’mon, we should catch a cab.” She reaches out her hand which he takes. It makes him shiver and for once he’s grateful for the rain because she won’t know that he’s been craving her touch for weeks. 

The breaking point mends itself between them. They become somewhat civil again. At the very least, they are able to talk to each other without it becoming a screaming match. Their performances become cordial again. 

Then, the strangest thing happens. 

The band and crew are parked at a truck stop one night. Kate, unable to sleep as she usually does, sneaks off the bus in the dark using only the light of her cell phone to guide her. She manages to get onto the bands. 

It’s bigger, enough that the boys each has their own room, albeit tiny. Seth’s has a picture of the two of them from their first performance together on the door that he’s been proudly displaying since that little moment despite all of the weirdness. It’s the cheesy collage filled with hearts and rainbows that Richie made as a joke. 

She slips into his dark bedroom. “Seth.” 

His only response is a very, very loud snore that makes Kate giggle a little. “Seth!” 

He jerks awake. “Shit!” As he rubs the sleep out of his eyes, he says, “What the hell are you doing here? Please tell me you know that you are here. Please tell me this isn’t some weird sleep hallucination thing.” 

Kate bites her lip. “No but….I just…I needed you.” 

He sits up on his elbows, suddenly wide awake. “You needed me, huh?” 

She puts her hands up. “Please don’t make me regret this decision.” 

“Come here,” he says with a dopey grin on his face. 

Kate crawls into bed with him. He wraps his arms around her and she can smell his aftershave. “I couldn’t sleep,” she tells him. 

“I’m not complaining.” Seth pulls her hair back and nuzzles her neck. She sighs deeply as she grips his shirt tightly.

“This feels nice.” 

“It does,” he agrees and adds, “I could make it feel better.” 

“How---“Seth cuts her off by kissing her neck. A shiver runs up and down her spine as a blush creeps up her face. She’s glad for the darkness because she doesn’t want him to know how much just that simple gesture has made her come undone. The room becomes quiet except for the sound of the cars passing on the freeway. 

Briefly, she thinks she should get up to leave but instead she turns on her side so that she is facing him. Kate wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him close so that she is kissing him. Seth presses his body into her as his hands gently rest on her waist as he kisses her again. “Seth,” she breathes, and he grins. 

“You want more of that baby girl?” he asks. 

She nods, and Seth trails kisses down her neck making her grip him tighter. Kate rolls over so that she is on her back. “I want a lot more,” she says, and Seth positions himself so that he is straddling her. 

He pulls her pajama bottoms down so that she is bare from her waist down. “I think I should make you work for this you know,” he says before he kisses her again, “you’ve been driving me crazy. That kind of thing shouldn’t just be rewarded.” 

Kate rests up on her elbows giving him a sly smile. “What do you have in mind?” 

“I think I want to watch you squirm, baby. I want to see you get off. I want you to touch yourself for me.” 

“I think you’d have a little more fun if I was touching you.” 

“Oh, we’ll get to that but right now I want to see you come undone, Kate. I want you to make that sweet music for me. Can you do that?” 

She grins, and her hand slides slowly down to her clit. With just a single finger, she rubs her folds slowly. “Oh, that is excellent work, Princess,” he says, “I bet you are an A plus student. Want to prove it? Make yourself nice and wet for me? Do a really, really, good job sweetheart?” 

“I’ll do an excellent job,” Kate answers, rubbing harder, until she feels herself clenching as her finger becomes slick with wetness. A gasp escapes her only to be caught by a kiss from him. He pulls away, and she stares at him petulantly. 

He smirks. “If you want the rest of the band waking up, be my guest. I just thought I’d save you from turning fifteen shades of red.” 

“Point taken.” She kisses him again. “But you are going to have to make it up to me.” 

“Gladly,” he replies. 

He grabs a condom from his nightstand, and takes a moment to ready himself. Kate bites her lip as she watches him slide it up his cock. He takes her hand in his and pushes his member inside of her. He rolls his hips against her, making her hold onto him so tight that her nails are digging into the skin of his shoulders. “God damn it.” 

“There’s my church girl,” he says with a chuckle. 

Kate smacks him on the shoulder. “I hate you.” 

“No you don’t.” He keeps on grinding into her, as she holds him tightly, a mewling sound escaping her lips assuring him of how right he is. He grins, and he removes her top and bra so that he can kiss her breast making her arch into him. 

“Oh, fuck.” 

Its Seth’s turn to gasp as Kate’s nails dig harder into him. “Fuck. I’m going to have marks on me, Katie.” 

“Good. Consider it payback.” 

“I’ll accept that,” he tells her as he kisses her naval. 

She runs her hands through his hair and he smiles down at her. “This was nice.” 

“It was,” Seth agrees, kissing her breast before he pulls away. He rolls off to the side and Kate rests her head on his chest. He rest his chin on top of her head. “You are wrong about so many things Kate Fuller.” 

“Name one?” 

“We’re not going to rip each other apart. I think we’re going to put each other back together because that made me feel better than I have in a long time.” 

“Optimist.” 

“Annoyingly.” 

“I’m still wide awake.” 

“Well, I could always fuck you to sleep.” 

“How could you still want more after that?” 

“I’m always going to want more of you.” 

She grabs his hand and grips it tightly. “Me too.” 

Neither one of them remembers falling asleep. They do however remember the sound of the camera phone clicking as Richie took pictures of the two of them in the morning. “Man, TMZ is going to love these.” 

“Damn it, Richard!” Seth and Kate both shout. 

Seth stands up and starts to dress. “Give me the damn phone.” 

“No,” says Richie, “I’m keeping these. Someone has to show your kids the beautiful moment that their parents consummated their marriage.” 

“Richard!” Seth shouts. 

Carlos pokes his head inside the room. “You can’t kill him Seth. We still have three more shows to perform. Hi, Katelyn.” 

Kate has now taken a pillow and covered her face with it. “Oh my god. This is embarrassing. You all suck.” 

“I second that,” Seth agrees, “get out!” He throws his own pillow at the two of them which only makes Richie laugh as he takes another picture and Carlos just shakes his head with a smirk as he exits the room. 

“Richie, if you don’t leave this room I will tell Santanico about that the thing you’ve had in the bottom drawer for a year,” Kate threatens, “and if you don’t delete those pictures I will also give it to her.” 

Richie scowls. “Traitor. I could still tell my brother important things, you know. Secret things. We had a code Kate.” 

“Code breaks when half naked pictures are involved, Richie.” 

He sighs. “Fine. Fine. Pictures are deleted but I would have made you a beautiful collage. But not anymore. Not anymore.” Richie exits the room leaving a stunned Seth to glance at Kate. 

“Are you going to explain what that was about?” he asks. 

Kate shrugs. “Sorry. We have a code.” 

“Okay then.” Seth accepts it even though it’s weird because Richie finally has a funny friend thing with someone so who is he to ruin that? Although he is not an idiot. He makes a mental note to tackle the answers out of his brother later but at that moment he is far too happy by the fact that he has Kate in his bed. 

So he closes the door, and gets in bed with her again. They spend the day asleep together and for the first time in weeks, Kate doesn’t see her Mama. The only thing she remembers is falling asleep to the sound of Seth’s breathing.


	7. Real or Not Real?

Chapter Seven   
Seth Gecko doesn’t get nervous. He’s been performing in bands from the time that he was sixteen and has never once had a problem with stage fright. However, when Aiden Tanner calls him up and tell him he’s doing a music video with Kate that’s enough to make him more than nervous. It scare’s the shit out of him. 

There are two more cities left on the tour. 

Just two more then they’ll be back in Los Angeles outside of their little bubble of hotel rooms and clubs. She won’t be following him across country and who knows if she’ll even want him after all of this is over? 

He stands outside her hotel room door in Chicago pacing back and forth like a teenager about to ask his date to prom. That’s before she opens the door with a wide smile on her face. “Hey there, handsome.” 

“Hey there, Princess.” 

He wraps his hands around her tiny waist and kisses the top of her head breathing in the smell of her vanilla shampoo. “I heard you pacing out here,” she says, “what’s wrong?” 

Seth looks down at her and brushes a few, stray strands of her brown hair out of her face. “It’s the record company.” 

Kate raises an eyebrow. “What about them?” 

“They want us to do a video for The Ring of Fire cover,” he explains, “we’re supposed to meet with a director if you are interested. I told Aiden I’d talk to you about it and I know I got us into this mess and we’re new so if you don’t want to do it I completely understand.“ 

She sighs. “What’s the video entail?” 

“I don’t know. The directors supposed to pitch us concepts.” 

“As long as I’m not half naked, I’m okay with that.” 

He smiles, cups her chin in his hands, and kisses her on the lips. “Don’t worry. I don’t want you half naked either. Naked for me, yes. Naked in front of a crew that will probably mostly guys, no.” 

“What times the meeting?” 

“In about an hour.” 

“Should I wear something fancy?” 

“No. What you’ve got on is great.” 

“Seth, I’m in my pajamas.” 

He nods. “I’m aware of that. I also find that the best answer to anytime a woman asks that question is to say that they look great.” 

“Funny and smart. Now come on in here and help me find something to wear please.” 

Seth groans as Kate leads him into the room. “Only if I can help you with getting out of those clothes first. I’m really a lot better at that then finding them.” 

She chortles. “How much time did you say we have?” 

“An hour.” 

“I’m certain we could allot some of that time for that.” 

He smiles widely as Kate pulls off the pink tank top that she sleeps in, and quickly removes her bra. Seth can feel his cock hardening. A wry grin crosses his girlfriend’s face. “Someone’s happy to see me.” 

“You’ve got no idea, baby girl,” he says huskily as he takes off his pants and boxers. 

“Let me say hello then.” 

Seth’s eyes widen, and he pulls her close to him so that their foreheads and chests are touching. Kate grasps his cock in her hand and backs him up slowly against the hotel room’s door. “I’d hold onto something if I were you,” she suggests, and Seth grips the door handle in response. She strokes his shaft in her hands as Seth tenses up against the wall. 

“That’s a fucking nice hello,” he murmurs, his eyes closed and Kate rubs him until he is twitching in underneath her touch. A shudder convulses through him and he grips her right shoulder with his hand. “Oh, Jesus baby girl.” 

The guitarist is a crumbled mess. Kate likes him being a mess, knowing that she’s done that to him. “You are still dressed,” Seth says, a hungry look in his eyes, “we should get you out of those pajamas now.” 

He recovers just long enough to grab the condom from his pants on the floor and cover himself. 

“And that shirt is just unnecessary,” Kate adds, as she removes it. 

Her flannel pajama pants are pulled quickly down as Seth kisses her neck. The two of them walk away from the door, to the bed, and Seth is tracing the lines of her thighs, making her shudder. Seth finds her clit, and his fingers stroke it, making heat pulse through her until she is crying out. “Fuck me.” 

“Gladly, baby.” 

There’s a knock on the door making the two of them stop abruptly. “Shit,” Seth says, quickly rolling off her. 

“Seriously?” Kate sits up on her elbows, pouting. 

“Katie-cakes, if that’s your Dad we’re fucked.” 

She pales and quickly scrambles to get dressed in whatever is nearby, resulting in her wearing jeans and her pajama shirt, and Seth’s shirt being on backwards. Kate scrambles to the door and finds a hard faced man with long, black hair and light brown skin peering at them through sunglasses. “Well at least now I know it’s not a publicity stunt,” the man comments, “your shirts backwards, Mr. Gecko.” 

Seth squints at the intruder. “Who the hell are you?” 

 

“The average music video director would call himself just a director. I’m not a director. For the next week, I own your asses. I’m going to get the best, damn music video out of you that I possibly can. I’m not the Director. I’m The Regulator.” 

Kate can’t help but snicker and a quick look from ‘The Regulator’ makes her quiet. Seth reaches for her hand. “You still sure about this?” he mutters. She doesn’t know but she somehow thinks that saying no is not an option. 

“Meet me in the hotel restaurant,” the man orders, “we’ve got a storyline to work out.” 

He leaves them alone both feeling like they’ve been told to go to the principal’s office or else. Downstairs in the hotel restaurant, The Regulator has already ordered pancakes and is making his way through a cup of coffee. He has a notebook pulled out where he is scribbling notes. “This is the plan,” he says, “The song is Ring of Fire. It’s a classic. We’re going to start off with you, Kate Fuller, in a graveyard. You are at Seth’s funeral and you’ll start singing. Then, we’ll have flashbacks. You’ll be a 1950’s rock star addicted to drugs. We’re referencing Cash’s life here and of course the two of you will sing together---“ 

“Do I have to be a drug addict?” Seth asks. 

The Regulator shoots him a look. “You telling me you aren’t? Everyone knows about your hotel room from a little while back.” 

“That wasn’t drugs,” Seth tells him, “that was----“ 

“That was a fight,” Kate covers, “we were fighting.” 

“About the drugs,” says The Regulator, “got news for you Gecko. Everyone knows about the drugs. I could call someone up on speed dial right now, tell them the name Seth Gecko, and they’d ask me where I wanted the dope sent.” 

“Hey, I’m not that bad!” Seth objects. “I haven’t been high in-----“ 

Kate squeezes his hand and he looks down at her with a frown knowing that there’s no use in lying. “We don’t have to do this. We can still back out,” she reminds him, “We can just tell Tanner that we don’t want to do the music video.” 

He shakes his head. “No. No. This is your career. A music video is an important part of the process. It’s a great concept. We’ll make it.” 

“But you’re not comfortable with it.” 

He shrugs. “It’s the truth, isn’t it? No point in lying about it.” 

She places a hand on his shoulder. “Seth, you are so much more than that. Don’t ever think that you’re not.” 

The Regulator snorts. “That’s what all of the rock stars say before they turn into junkie burn outs. We start filming tomorrow, bright and early at 9 a.m. I’ll send a car for you two crazy kids.” 

He is up and gone without having finished his breakfast leaving the two of them sitting at the table awkwardly. 

“You okay?” Kate asks. 

Seth shrugs. “I’ll be fine, I guess. I just never thought I’d have to show that part of me to someone else. I’m not a junkie you know. It’s not something that I’m proud of.” 

“Seth, you say the word and I will call Tanner myself and tell him that the deal is off.” 

He squeezes her hand. “I’ll be fine, baby girl. It’s just a music video.” 

Even though he says it with a smile, there’s a twinge of sadness in his voice that makes Kate know he isn’t alright. It’s going to be an interesting week, she decides. There’s the sound of someone clearing their throat and Kate turns to see Richie standing there with a concerned look on his face. 

“Trouble in paradise?” he questions. 

Kate shakes her head. “Just met with our director. It was….interesting.” 

“You know if you need help with dancing, Santanico really is an expert with that snake,” Richie says. 

She laughs. “I’m okay.” 

“That’s great but Seth, I need your girlfriends help.” 

The older Gecko straightens at that. “What for?” 

“Santanico’s birthday’s coming up,” Richie explains, “every year Carlos pulls the same dick move, doesn’t remember, and gets her some lame ass present that’s the equivalent of a gas station gift.” 

 

“Oh, the state teddy bear, single rose bullshit?” Seth says. “Oh yeah. I may have done that once or twice with Vanessa….in my drugged out days….and I am not that anymore.” 

“We know, sweetie,” Kate agrees before turning to focus her attention on Richie again. “What do you need from me?” 

“You any good at planning parties?” 

Seth snorts. “You’ve got to be kidding me. Little Miss Innocent here?” 

She jabs him in the shoulder. “Excuse me. If anyone should know that I’m not that innocent it should be you.” 

Richie smirks, and Seth does a little bit too. “Point taken.” 

“Richie, I think you’re going about this all wrong. You want to show Santanico that you care why you don’t do something a little more honest?” 

“Parties are honest,” Richie insists. 

“Parties are an illusion. There’s nothing honest about them. In the end, you’ve still got to clean up the mess that you made. You want to do something special for Santanicos birthday? You should be honest with her.” 

“Honest,” Richie repeats, “Because that’s so easy.” 

“It worked for us,” Kate reminds him. 

Richie eyes his brother strangely but doesn’t say anything. “Okay, Kate. You’re the smart one of the group. I’ll be honest. Just don’t be surprised if this whole thing backfires. Santanico doesn’t do the whole honesty thing well and if it does blow up in my face, I’m blaming you.” 

“I will gladly take it. Just as long as you try.” 

He leaves the two of them alone and Seth glances at her after he is gone. “You know that’s not going to end well right?” 

“It will be fine,” Kate insists, “besides, you don’t have to work with Richie in the studio. I do. And I can’t be their cover for much longer. Carlos is going to find out one way or another. At least if he’s honest with her for once it won’t have been for nothing.” 

Richie pokes his head around the corner. “There’s still going to be a party though because she may already be convinced that I’m planning one and hinting about it.” 

“Richie!” Seth and Kate exclaim in unison. 

 

The youngest Gecko smiles. “So will you two help me or not?” 

 

Seth glowers at him. “I had plans you know.” 

“Staying in bed with Kate all day is not a plan,” he informs him as the young girl blushes fiercely. 

“We had other plans,” she insists, “we were going to um…look for costumes for the video shoot. It’s going to be 1950’s. We were going to look at the thrift stores.” 

Richie stares pointedly at them. “Nice try. C’mon. Get your asses up. We’ve got a party to plan. We’re making use of the club that we’re playing in tonight.” 

“What about Carlos? Won’t he think it’s weird that you’re throwing a party for his girlfriend?” Seth asks. 

Richie grins. “I’ve got that taken care of. Scotts convinced him to sneak him into a strip club. Something about him having connections with an old boss.” 

Kate grips the table. “Richie, you’ve got to be kidding me. Scott’s underage. He can’t be in a strip club. Dad won’t approve of it.” 

“I’m pretty sure your Dads going with them.” 

Seth laughs, and kisses her cheek. “Quite the family you’ve got there, Katie-cakes.” 

“Fine. Fine. If we’re going to plan a party for Santanico, we’re going to do this right. We’re going to need streamers. We’re going to need balloons. We’re going to need a cake.” 

“I can get one from the store.” 

“No,” Kate says sternly, “we’re not getting one of those terrible store bought ones. I’ll talk to the kitchen and see if they’ll let me use it for a little while to bake one.” 

Seth’s face lights up. “You can bake?” 

“There’s not a whole lot to do in a small town on Saturday nights.” 

“Can I lick the bowl?” her boyfriend asks. 

“I might let you lick more than that if you’re good.” She kisses him, ignoring Richie’s protests of disgust. She looks back at Richie. “You’ve got shopping to do.” 

He nods. “Anything to get away from you two being disgusting.” 

“Good. Don’t forget. Streamers. Balloons. Things like that.” 

Richie nods, and quickly leaves the hotel. 

Kate somehow wrangles the hotel chef into letting them use their kitchen with help from Seth and a few Benjamins. “How many people do you think there are going to be?” Kate asks Seth as she gets a mixing bowl out of the cupboard. 

“I don’t know. Probably just the band,, the crew, and the dancers.” 

“So we’ll be fine with one cake.” 

“Should be.” 

“Do we know if Santanico is allergic to anything?” 

He shrugs. “I don’t think so but I can’t say that I’ve ever really seen her eat that much. She keeps to a very strict dancer’s diet.” 

“Okay, so we’ll make something gluten free then. It’ll be delicious and healthy.” 

The kitchen, being a professional one, has everything that they need. She looks up a recipe for a gluten free vanilla cake just to stay on the safe side. 

“You know I don’t think I’ve ever baked with anyone before,” Seth comments. 

“Really? Not even with your Mom?” Kate asks as she pours some rice milk into the bowl. 

“No,” he answers, “Mom ditched us when we were kids but Dad was kind of an asshole anyway. Mostly, we were raised by our Uncle Eddie and he wasn’t really a baking guy. Sometimes he cooked but mostly to impress chicks. Vanessa wasn’t really domestic either.” 

She smiles. “Well I guess there’s a first time for everything.” 

“You know, I should take you to meet him.” Seth leans up against the counter with a very serious look on his face. “I think he’d like you.” 

“Who?” Kate asks. 

“Uncle Eddie. I mean, if you want. No pressure or anything. I know we’re still kind of new….” 

She bites her lip as she cracks an egg against the side of the bowl, then another, and another. “What’s he going to think about you dating me? I mean, the age difference isn’t something that we’ve really talked about because it hasn’t been an issue so far but I’m only eighteen. And you are….” 

Kate trails off, eyeing him, realizing for the first time that she doesn’t know how old he actually is. 

Seth coughs. “Um. Well. I’m twenty-eight. That’s not a problem is it?” 

She bites her lip. “No. Not for me. But other people are going to talk. You know that. I’m just surprised that no one’s said anything so far. We’re on the road. We’re in a bubble. People are gonna start talking.” 

He places a hand on her shoulder. “We’re gonna be fine, baby girl,” he kisses her on the neck, making her nearly knock over the nearby measuring cup. 

“I hope so,” she mutters as she grabs the spoon and stirs the cake mix. But she thinks about Santanico and Richie, with their secretive moments, and how the two of them haven’t even had a real date. It’s all been hotel rooms, the darkness of stages, and the comfort of the bus. Except the road isn’t real… 

 

And if the road isn't real for them who says its real for her and Seth?


	8. And It All Falls Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos finds out about Santanico and Richie. Shit hits the fan.

To say that Carlos is freaking out is a bit of an understatement. They’re about to go on but neither Richie nor Santanico are around. “I knew it!” Carlos starts shouting in the dressing room. “I knew that pendejo was fucking my girlfriend!” 

“Carlos, man, calm down,” says Seth, “you don’t know that. Santanico and Richie are friends. He might just be helping her out with something.” 

“Yeah, it’s called her cunt!” spits Carlos. “When they get back from wherever the hell they are I am going to kill the both of them. Do you understand? Your brother is a dead man, Seth Gecko.” 

Seth grabs Carlos by his shirt collar. “Now, let’s get one thing straight Carlito. You lay one finger on my brother or his girl the only thing you’ll be singing is your last goodbyes. Got that?” 

Carlos smiles. “You listen to me Seth, and you listen good. You are going to bring back Santanico and your brother or else I will destroy everything you hold dear.” 

He laughs. “You ain’t got shit on me, Carlos.” 

He pulls out his cell phone and presses play. “Don’t I?” 

It’s a video of him and Kate. Seth makes a grab for the phone but Carlos yanks it away. “I will delete this when and only when Santanico is back with me. You might also want to remind her of our own little feature film too.” 

He glares. “You are a sick bastard. How the hell did you get hold of this anyway?” 

“Got to have an insurance policy don’t I?” Carlos says. “Besides, I’ve been taping the bus from the beginning. There’s plenty more where that came from. Who do you think leaked the video of you and Kate singing in the first place? Or told Tanner to offer her a recording contract?” 

“Why?” he asks. “Kate has anxiety. It keeps her from sleeping. You put her in that damn hospital thanks to this mess!” 

“That was you and only you, Seth. I’m not a monster. I couldn’t have you leaving the band could I? And you would do something stupid like give up your career for a girl.” 

“I’m about to give you my fist to your face.” He goes to hit him, but Carlos grins as he holds the video up. 

“I don’t think you are going to do anything except for get Santanico back for me.” 

“Fuck.” 

“Good luck, buddy. You have until the morning and then your greatest hits will be going to go viral.” 

Carlos exits the room. 

Seth feels a pit in his stomach. Things are finally good with him and Kate. She seems happy. He knows he is. And he can’t let her life get ruined because of him. He doesn’t know what to do. 

He heads to the crew bus where Jacob sits in the front seat, dozing. “Time to get up, Fuller.” 

 

Jacob lets out a snore as he jumps up. “Jesus! Just what do you think you’re doing, Gecko?” 

“We’ve got a problem.” 

“What’s wrong? Are we late for the next show?” 

“No. We’re not late for the next show. It’s Kate.” 

“What about her? Did she forget to take her medication again?” 

Seth shakes his head. “No. It isn’t that. It’s something worse. Look, Richie and Santanico ran off together. No one can find them. And Carlos's pissed.” 

Jacob snorts. “Carlos is always pissed.” 

“It isn’t just that. There’s a video, Jacob. It’s a video of me and your daughter. And Carlos is threatening to release the video if we don’t bring Santanico back to him.” 

The bus driver stands. “I could just shoot the bastard.” 

“You could, but that asshole isn’t worth going to jail over. I just need you to do me a favor and drive could you?” 

“Where?” 

“Vegas.” 

Jacob sighs. “Why the hell would Richie go to Vegas with Santanico?” 

“The only reason,” he answers. 

“What about Kate and Scott?” 

“The rooms paid for. When we find my brother and Santanico, we’ll take the plane back and you can meet us at the last show. I’ll get them both there too.” 

“Okay then, let’s go.” 

Seth sits in the passenger seat. He takes out his cell phone and tries to call his brother to no avail. Richie doesn’t answer, neither does Santanico which he knows is a long shot anyway. Santanico and him have never seen eye to eye. 

He does text Carlos, letting him know he has some idea of where Richie and Santanico are and begging for an extension on time. Carlos agrees to one more day. Seth just hopes that he’s right about the whole thing. 

Then he calls Kate. 

“Hey,” he says. 

“Hey!” she says back. “Where the hell is everyone? I thought we were having a surprise party for Santanico. Now the shows canceled, I can’t even find Carlos, and Santanico and Richie are nowhere.” 

“Well I just called to tell you about that. Your Dad and I are trying to find them now. I think they might have gone to Vegas.” 

“Vegas?” 

“Yeah, Vegas. I was thinking about what you said about how Richie had that ring and you were talking about making gestures with him earlier---“ 

“Oh god!” Kate exclaims. “You think Richie and Santanico ran off with Vegas to get married?”

“Maybe.” 

“When I was talking about nice things to do for her birthday, I meant flowers. I didn’t mean that.” 

“I know that’s what you meant. But it’s Richie. He either goes all in or he doesn’t go in at all.” 

“Okay, well just be careful. Get them back.” 

“Yeah,” he says, “I will. Just do me a favor okay?” 

“What’s that?” 

“Don’t go near Carlos right now.” 

Kate laughs. “Seth, Carlos and I aren’t exactly what you’d call friends. There’s no reason for me to go near him. Trust me.” 

“Okay. Okay. Keep your brother close.” 

“Alright….” She pauses. “You sure this is just about Santanico and Richie?” 

“Positive,” he tells her, “you know how crazy he gets about her. I just don’t want you getting caught in the crossfire for this.” 

“It will be fine. Bring your brother back. And take care of yourself. Oh, and don’t let Dad drink okay? He’s alright when he’s on the wagon but if he gets off of the wagon for just a second he…well it’s bad.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of him,” Seth promises. 

He hangs up the phone and glances at Jacob who’s still driving. “Let me know when you get tired, Fuller. I’ll take over the wheel for you.” 

Jacob snorts. “Oh please, pretty rock star boy like you couldn’t handle a day long drive. You just sit there, alright?” 

Seth sighs and does as told. 

The drive to Vegas is long. It is mid afternoon by the time that they finally reach the city. Seth calls his brother again once they are there. 

There’s laughter on the other end of the phone. “Seth, please don’t kill us.” It’s Santanico who answers. 

He takes a breath. “Santanico.” 

“Mrs. Gecko,” she corrects. 

“You are insane. You did it?” 

There’s a pause. “It was the only way I could escape.” 

“Well I got news for you, sister. You didn’t escape. If you don’t come back, Carlos is planning on releasing your sex tape. And he’s got one of me and Kate.” 

Santanico takes a breath. “I’m sorry, Seth. I’m sorry. But I can’t go back to him.” 

“Put my brother on the phone.” 

There’s the sound of shuffling as the phone gets passed back to Richie. “Richard, you listen to me. You get your ass back here right now. And you are going to fix this whole mess. Because there is no way that I’m going to let Carlos destroy Kate.” 

“If we go back there, there’s no way that she’ll---“ 

“Richard, come on man. It’s Kate.” 

“I’m sorry, Seth. I can’t. I won’t let her go back to him, okay? I made her a promise that I was going to keep her safe. So I’m going to do just that.” 

“Damn it Richie!” He grips the phone and he almost breaks it. “This is Carlos we’re talking about.” 

“I know. That’s why I’m doing it. Goodbye, brother.” 

Richie hangs up the phone before he can say anything more. “Shit!” Seth exclaims. 

Jacob glances at him. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?” 

“Richards a little shit, that’s what. He says he’s not coming back and he married Santanico. Carlos is going to release those tapes and ruin everything.” 

“Carlos isn’t going to do anything,” Jacob says. 

“So you’re re-thinking the whole let’s kill him possibility?” 

“No. Not that. But even a man like Carlos who likes to control so much has his weakness, Gecko.” 

“Well his biggest weakness just went and got hitched.” 

“Santanico was one of his weaknesses but you and I both know that wasn’t his biggest. Give me that phone. I’ve got a call to make.” 

Seth passes the phone to him. Jacob dials a number. “Scott…. it’s your father…. I know you’ve been spending a good amount of time with Carlos….do you know where he keeps that stash of his he’s so fond of?” 

A slow grin crosses Seth’s face. “Old testament, Fuller.” 

Jacob grins, glancing at him out of the corner of his eye as he talks to his son on the phone. When he’s finished, he hands it back to Seth. “C’mon. I’ll take you to the airport. You need to get back there before just in case this thing doesn’t fall through.” 

“What’s the plan?” he asks. 

“You’ll see, Gecko. You’ll see.” 

The thing about siblings is that a majority of the time they drive you crazy. If Scott Fuller were honest, Kate drove him crazy most of the time. He had never been able to shake the feeling that she still saw him as an outsider. He’d seen it her eyes when he was first adopted. Knew it when his name had changed from his birth one to Scott because she couldn’t say it. 

But in the end, they were family. And while Jacob stopped by for the occasional Christmas, she was all he had. You didn’t mess with his family. 

Getting Carlos to go out to party was easy. 

Getting him to take the coke was easier. A drink here, a drunken girl there. 

He snaps the pictures and the video of him with his cell phone. And he sells it to the first celebrity magazine that’ll take it. But not before he destroys the cell phone that has the video of Kate and Santanico on it. 

In the morning, Kate wakes up to the sound of someone banging on a door a few rooms down. She pokes her head out, still in her pajamas. 

“Carlos Madrigal?” It’s a policeman talking. There are two of them. 

“What’s the problem gentleman?” Carlos asks with a grin on his face. “Was the partying too loud? I’m sorry. I’ll reimburse the hotel for any trouble that I may have caused.” 

“We’re not here about the noise, Mr. Madrigal. We’re here about the drugs.” 

Carlos smiles. “I’m sorry. I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.” 

Kate steps forward. “Officers what’s going on here?” 

One of the policemen shows her pictures on a phone of Carlos snorting up cocaine in a dark, shady night club. “We’re arresting him for possession among the myriad of other things that we’ve uncovered too.” 

“There’s got to be some mistake,” Kate insists. 

“Pictures don’t lie, Miss Fuller.” She's surprised from the use of her name but remembers that she’s dating a rock star and has a youtube video that’s been viral. 

“Then how about times?” Kate says. 

Carlos tilts his head looking at her with raised eyebrows. She doesn’t know why she’s saying it exactly. And she still remembers Seth’s words from the call before. But something about her can’t let it happen. 

“What do you know about times?” the officer asks. 

“He was with me,” Kate says, “those pictures are lying.” 

Carlos smiles. “Yes. I was with Kate at the time.” 

The other officer shakes his head. “Don’t you have a boyfriend?” 

Kate bites her lip. “It wasn’t anything like that. We were working on a song. We’re singers.” 

“Yeah, I bet you are.” The officer clears his throat. “You’ll go on record saying that you were with Carlos Madrigal at the time?” 

She nods. “I was with Carlos Madrigal at the time.” 

The officers step back. “You sure you want to do this girl? Word gets out about this and your boyfriends not going to be too happy.” 

“There’s more to me than my boyfriend,” Kate replies. 

The two men shake their heads. “I guess there’s nothing more that we can do here.” 

“I guess there isn’t,” she agrees. 

The two men leave. When they’re gone, Carlos smiles at her. “Thank you much, Kate. You’ve been helpful.” 

“No problem, Carlos. I don’t think Seth would be too happy if I let the lead singer of his band get arrested.” 

“No. No he wouldn’t be. You did the right thing.” He smirks. “Since everyone seems to have disappeared would you like to have breakfast with me?” 

Kate bites her lip. “Sure, why not? Just let me get dressed.” 

“Sounds good.” 

Kate goes back to her room to get dressed. Carlos heads back into his room to grab his cell phone only to realize that it’s gone. He tears it apart piece by piece. He almost lets out a scream. Almost. 

He instead goes to his suitcase, and rummages through until he finds the heroin that he’s been keeping. Then he puts it in his pocket. He might not have the videos. Or Santanico. But he doesn’t need things that are important to him. 

Because he has the thing that’s the most important to Seth. That’s all he needs.


	9. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos gets his revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really short and I'm sorry. I've had a lot of doctors appointments because of a health thing so I haven't been able to actually write a lot. But I'm not neglecting it. And I swear it will get finished. Thank you guys for reading. :)

Kate has almost forgotten about the music video in the midst of the craziness from the night before. That is until a stern looking guy interrupts her breakfast with Carlos. “Miss Fuller?” he asks. 

Kate looks up. “Yes?” 

“I’m from the record company,” he says, “Tanner sent me to pick up you and Mr. Gecko for the music video.” 

Kate swears, making Carlos chuckle. “You’ll have to excuse Miss Fuller, sir. It’s been a very, very long night. We had some trouble with Los Hermanos Geckos.” 

“Trouble?” the driver says. 

“Seth’s sick,” Kate fibs, “we might have to start filming later.” 

“I was instructed to take you to the video set. So that’s what I’m going to do.” 

Kate stands up. “Can you give me just a minute with Carlos?” 

He shrugs. “Just a minute. But that’s all. The directors very strict when it comes to being on time.” 

“I understand.” 

She pulls Carlos off to the side out of the drivers hearing range. “What should I do? Seth isn’t back yet.” 

“Don’t worry about Seth, Little Miss Kate. I’ll take care of him. You just go to your shoot. Don’t forget your purse.” He hands it to her. 

She blinks at him. “I must be tired. I don’t even remember bringing it down.” 

“You gave it to me in the elevator. Just go. Everything will work out fine. I promise.” 

She smiles. “Thanks for everything. When Seth gets here just bring him to the shoot. I’ll text over the details.” 

“Sounds good.” 

She leaves quickly. The drive to the video shoot seems to go by incredibly fast. The only thing that Kate remembers is being ushered into wardrobe where they quickly make her up to look like a 1950’s country queen. She is then in makeup for about two hours when Seth finally shows up. 

“Kate!” he pushes his way into the trailer, looking like a rockabillies star, and gives her a hug. “I’m so sorry. Things got crazy.” 

“That’s okay. What happened with Richie and Santanico?” 

He shrugs. “They’re not coming back. I tried getting them to but they’re god knows where.” 

“What does that mean for the band?” 

“Who the fuck knows?” he says. “There isn’t really a band with Richie not showing up and Carlos is probably in jail by now if things went the way I hope.” 

She bites her lip. “What do you mean if things went the way that you hope?” 

“I mean that Carlos’s fucking drug habit caught up to him. The police should have arrested him last night. There were pictures released and everything.” 

“Seth, Carlos didn’t get arrested. I helped him get out of that. They showed up last night but I didn’t know what was going on. I just thought that you wouldn’t like it if your band mate wound up in jail.” 

He pales. “Kate….no….” 

“What is it? I thought that I was doing a good thing. He’s your friend isn’t he? I wouldn’t want my friend to go to prison.” 

“He’s not a friend,” he tells her, “he’s a goddamned snake. Kate, he’s been watching all of us. There was a tape. There was a tape of you and me that he was going to release but Scott managed to get it from him. The only way we were going to make it out of this is if he was in jail so we set that whole thing up.” 

Kate pushes off the makeup artist that’s trying to put blush on her. “What do you mean there was a tape?” 

He hangs his head. “You know what kind of tape. He had one of Santanico too. It’s why she stayed with him for so long.” 

“But it’s gone right?” 

“Scott destroyed it.” 

She shakes her head. “I can’t believe that you brought my brother into this.” 

“It was the only way. I was trying to find Santanico and Richie. If we didn’t act quick Carlos was going to release them. I couldn’t let him do that to you.” 

“I have to call Scott.” She grabs her purse from in underneath the chair where it’s been sitting. Kate rummages through it looking for her cell phone. Finally, she glances up at him. “My cell phone’s gone. But there’s something there that wasn’t in here this morning.” 

“What’s that?” 

Kate takes out a heroin needle with a note attached. “You take someone I love then I’ll take someone you love.” 

Seth grabs the note from her. “Shit. It’s his handwriting.” 

“I need to find Scott.” Kate puts her purse on her shoulder, despite the makeup artist’s protests. 

“What about the music video?” the woman waving a thing of blush asks. 

“Screw your music video,” Kate hisses. She locks eyes with her boyfriend. “We need to find Scott. We need to find him now before Carlos does something.” 

“Let’s go.” He grabs her hand and the two of them rush out of the trailer. They grab the first car they find with keys in the ignition. The two speed back to the hotel although somehow it feels as if no matter how fast they go it won’t be fast enough. 

Scott Fuller isn’t exactly what he calls a bad ass. Although he has been in trouble more than enough times to know when something is about to go down. That’s what happens when you’re a Chinese kid living in a mostly white, small town. It isn’t that you want to pick fights. It’s that sometimes the fights find you. 

When he receives a knock on his door early that morning he expects it to be his sister. Or maybe even Seth at the very least telling him that all is well. What he doesn’t expect to find is Carlos Madrigal standing there with a grin on his face. 

“Hey there buddy,” he says, “been to any killer parties lately?” 

Scott starts to back up. “Carlos, man. You didn’t really give me much of a choice. That was my sister and---“ 

“And that idiot stole my woman! The other one is trying to steal my career. You should know as well as I that people in this world don’t give you anything Scott. All they do is take. Now I’m not sure where that bitch Santanico is so I can’t take her back. But I can get back at the people that nearly destroyed my career overnight.” 

“I don’t want any trouble, man.” 

“That’s too bad. Because you started the trouble last night when you took what was mine. Now, I’m going to take something that’s yours.” He grabs Scott’s arm and grips it so tightly that he is doubled over in pain. 

Carlos pumps him full of heroin despite Scott’s protests. He doesn’t stop until the young boy slumps over on the floor, unconscious. He smiles down at the youngest Fuller then drops the needle so that it’s right by his hand. He takes out his cell phone then snaps a picture of the knocked out teenager. 

He texts the picture and waits. Seth’s name flashes across the screen. He answers, “Hello, Mr. Gecko.” 

“Carlos, you bastard.” 

“You were going to take something of mine so I took something of yours. You better get here fast my friend. You of all people know how badly the drugs can affect your system.”


	10. Different Worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth comes to terms that maybe he pulled Kate into a world she didn't belong.

Chapter Ten   
No calls. 

No texts. 

No nothing. 

The last time Seth sees Kate, it’s after Jacob screams bloody murder at him. He’s not used to their calm bus driver being mad. In fact, in the two years that he’s known him he has never seen him mad. Worse, their shows canceled since his brother ran off with Santanico. 

And Carlos is a fucking bastard who he doesn’t want anything to do with. 

The only person that does call him is Tanner. Aiden Tanner. He’s in his hotel room sitting on the floor when the phone rings. Seth almost ignores it except he thinks that maybe he knows something about the Fullers. “Hello?” 

“Somebody had better tell me what the fuck is going on with my band!” Tanner shouts so loud that it makes him wince, pulling the phone away from his ear. “First I heard that Carlos is arrested. Then I heard that Richie’s gotten married. And your fucking groupie whore’s brother is in the hospital after an overdose!” 

Seth grips the phone. “Kate is not a groupie. She’s not a whore either. She’s your damn artist Tanner! You should be concerned about what is going on with her. Haven’t you called the hospital?” 

“I tried. Fuller’s not letting anyone near them that isn’t family. Richard’s cell phone just goes straight to voice mail. Carlos has dropped off the face of the planet. I’ve got a vendor that’s pissed and a music video director that’s insisting I pay their fee even though you two didn’t do a damn thing.” 

“Carlos tried blackmailing Santanico and Kate with sex tapes,” Seth exclaims, “so we stole them. Carlos drugged Kate’s brother in revenge.” 

Tanner takes a deep breath. “Is this a rock tour or some kind of soap opera?” 

“That’s why they call it the circus man,” he answers. 

“Do I still have a band or do I need to make a statement to the press about Los Hermanos Geckos going their separate ways?” 

Seth pauses. He pauses for way too long, mulling everything over that’s happened in the last few months. One minute he was with Vanessa. The next he was with an eighteen-year-old girl. 

They’d gotten lost in the desert, high on peyote. He’d sang his heart out to her in front of a crowd of people. He’d forced her into a world that he wasn’t sure that she wanted. Because he’d just thought of what he wanted which was not to be alone. It was the same reason he performed. It was the same reason he took the drugs because at least it gave him something. 

“You know what. Tell them it’s over. Tell them everything’s over,” he answers. 

Tanner clears his throat. “What about you and Kate? I’ve had the press hounding me about that too.” 

“Yeah. That’s over too. Just tell them it’s all over.” 

“Alright. But we’re not done. The band still has a contract. Four studio albums is what you’ve signed on for. You’ve just put out an EP and an album. That’s it.” 

“What about Kate?” he asks. 

“Until I hear otherwise from her she is still my recording artist. There’s nothing you can do about it. Unless you have enough money to buy out her contract along with yours.” 

“If Kate wants out, I’ll buy it. She doesn’t need to be forced into a singing career. I shouldn’t have done it in the first place.” 

“What about yours? What about your brothers? I want my money Gecko. And I will be hounding you until I get it.” 

“I’ll figure it out,” Seth insists, “I’ll figure everything out. I just want to make sure to keep Kate as far away from Carlos as possible.” 

“Then when I talk to the Fuller’s if Kate says that she wants to be done then she’ll be done. But don’t think I’ll forget about you, Gecko.” 

“Of course not. Have as many wet dreams as you want about me to suit your fancy. I’ll get your money Tanner. One way or another. Just don’t go back on our deal with Kate.” 

Tanner hangs up without a word. 

When the phone call ends, he finds himself staring at the one picture of Kate that he has on there. The one picture that Richie took from that video of them complete with the ridiculous collage with hearts and stars. His finger hovers over the delete button. 

He’s put her in the hospital once. 

Then her brother. 

He’s a mess that she doesn’t need to be anywhere near. 

But he doesn’t delete the picture. Because the picture is all that he has. 

Kate spends the night in the hospital with her brother and Jacob. She feels like she has lived an entire lifetime since finding Scott passed out on the ground of his hotel room. She remembers carrying him out of there with Seth. Then getting into the ambulance. 

Then of course, there was the shouting. 

She doesn’t even remember what had been said. She just remembers seeing red as she told her boyfriend to get out. Seth had protested but Jacob had for once, acted like a Dad kicking him out. 

Jacob’s been out getting coffee. 

Her brother finally wakes up, looking like he’s been through hell. “Kate?” 

She looks up from where she’s been staring at the floor, and smiles at him. “Hey! You’re awake. How are you feeling?” 

“Like shit,” he answers, “what happened?” 

“Carlos drugged you.” 

He winces. “Does that mean that you know about everything that happened? The sex tape and….” 

She nods. “I know. Scott, what were you thinking?” 

“I was thinking that I don’t like people taking advantage of my sister. I was trying to make things right. Carlos is a bully. And bullies like him deserve to get punished.” 

“Carlos isn’t someone that you try to take on by yourself. Carlos is someone that you let the police deal with. He’s insane,” she insists. 

“The police should have dealt with him. They were supposed to arrest him. How did he even get out of that? The man is a sneeky bastard.” 

Kate bites her lip. “I’m sorry. That was my fault. The whole thing was my fault. I never should have gotten caught up in this. I should have told Dad that we needed to go home. This isn’t the kind of life that we should be living. Mama would have been so disappointed.” 

“Are you kidding Kate?” Scott says. “You might have been caught up in your rock star fantasy but this is the longest that Dad and I have ever spent time together. We talked a lot. And it’s been good. Do you even remember what it was like for me back in Bethel?” 

She sits up in the chair that she’s been half slipping off of. “I know that it’s been hard for you…” 

“No, you don’t, because you were always taking care of Mom,” Scott says, “you know that I had been carrying around a gun with me at school?” 

She raises an eyebrow. “Don’t be ridiculous. Where on earth would you get a gun?” 

“Crazy Ray,” Scott answers. 

“Of course it was Crazy Ray. What was so bad that you thought that you needed a gun?” 

He sits up in the hospital bed. “You remember Jackson and Sam on the Lacrosse team?” 

Kate wrinkles her nose. “Yeah. Jackson likes to look up girl’s skirts when he thinks they aren’t looking. Jessica told me about him.” 

“They were beating me up,” Scott explains, “every day after practice.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I didn’t want to seem like a wimp,” he confesses, “besides you had so much going on with Mom. How could I compete with that? It was always you two. I never felt like I fit in.” 

She takes hold of her brother’s hand. “Scott, I took care of Mom so that you didn’t have to see her like that. It wasn’t like we were bonding. I was picking her up off of the floor sometimes. Or making sure that she didn’t take the wrong pills. Or hiding the liquor from her.” 

“I know. I get that. But that wasn't your choice. I should have been able to help. I haven’t felt like I had a sister since we were little. Don’t you remember what it was like when they first adopted me?” 

Kate sighs. “Scott, what I remember about when they first adopted you is that I couldn’t pronounce your real name. And I was jealous of you all the time and that Dad stopped showing up not too long after you did.” 

“Hey! I didn’t---“ 

She puts her hand up. “I know you didn’t. But I was little, Scott. And I was stupid.” 

“You were little, Kate. Things were messed up.” 

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong. I should have been a better sister. I should have known about everything that was going on with you.” 

He shakes his head. “No, we should have had better parents.” 

She half laughs. “Maybe.” 

“Not maybe. You shouldn’t have had to parent Mom. And it shouldn’t have taken Mom dying for Dad to get involved.” 

“It's all messed up, Scott. How’d we get here?” 

“A rock band’s tour bus,” he answers. 

Kate chuckles. “Well you’re not wrong.” 

“Where’s Dad?” he asks. 

“Out getting coffee,” she answers. 

“What about your boyfriend?” 

“I don’t think that I have a boyfriend anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t be part of a lifestyle that ends up with my brother in the hospital from an overdose. It isn’t right. You shouldn’t have to deal with that. I shouldn’t have to deal with that.” 

He clears his throat. “I think you’re wrong. I think that you’re just running from the idea that someone might care for you.” 

She snorts. “Why on earth would I do that? Being cared for doesn’t scare me. The mess of a life that he has scares me.” 

“So that’s why you spent our entire trip, months after Mom died, focusing on trying to put him back together instead of yourself?” 

“I didn’t----“ 

“Kate the first thing that you did after meeting him was try to get him to quite taking drugs. You don’t try taking over a stranger’s life the first time that you meet them. Unless you are an identity thief but I don’t think that you can pass as Seth Gecko. You’re too tiny. Also you’d have to get tattoos and you hate needles.” 

“His life is insane.” 

“Yeah, but he makes you happy. Trust me. I know. Because you’re not happy too often.” 

She scowls. “I can be happy.” 

“When you’re not fixing things for people?” 

“I think I liked you better when your unconscious.” 

He laughs. “Are you going to call him?” 

She shrugs. “Maybe. Or not. I don’t know. Do you need another pillow? You look like you need another pillow.” 

“Kate.” 

“I’m just going to get a nurse. Maybe she knows where the extra pillows are.” 

Scott rolls his eyes. “You are being stubborn.” 

“Scott, you are my brother. You are in the hospital. In the time that I have known Seth, I have spent more time then I would like to admit here. The fact that you are here….it just goes to show that even though we might care about each other, we don’t belong in the same world. You can care about someone but still hurt them. His world…it’s too dangerous to be in. It’s the same reason Mama and Daddy didn’t work out.” 

“Mom and Dad were destructive to themselves. You and Seth aren’t them.” 

“No but he----“ 

“Tries to be better when you are with him. The mess that happened? It wasn’t because of him. It was because Carlos was a shit that liked destroying lives. Don’t let someone else’s mess interfere with your being happy.” 

“What are you, Oprah?” 

“More like a rock star version of Doctor Phil.” 

Kate laughs, and takes out her cell phone. Maybe she will give Seth a call. Things had been so tense earlier. What they needed to do was to talk to each other without screaming at one another. Not in a hospital room. 

Except the moment that she opens up her cell phone she sees that there is an alert notification on the front from one of the news apps she has. LOS HERMANOS GECKOS BREAKS UP, CITES GUITARISTS FLING WITH KATE FULLER AS REASON. 

And she drops her phone in response like it's on fire, shattering the screen.


	11. Six Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the disaster with Carlos, Seth goes into rehab.

Chapter Eleven   
The reporter they send to interview him on the break-up of the band is a brunette girl with tattoos from Rolling Stone. She calls herself Sonja Lam. At first, they sit in awkward silence with Seth looking around a restaurant like an alien on a strange planet for the first time. 

“You okay?” she asks, squinting at him. 

He sits up straighter. He knows what she wants. She wants a classic, Seth Gecko freak out. A temper tantrum that ends with the restaurant destroyed and a good story to tell. He’s not going to give it to her. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, loosening his tie a little which somehow seems tighter than it was. “Just been a long time since I’ve been out of the rehab center. I’m not used to being around this many people again.” 

Sonja tilts her head to the side. “It’s been six months hasn’t it?” 

He nods. “Yep. I’m at the half way mark. A few more and they’ll let me out. I’ll get to be a fine, upstanding citizen again.” 

“What are your plans after you get out?” 

“Try not to get back in,” he answers. 

Sonja scribbles something on her pad and paper. The red light on her recorder blinks. “Why’d you go in the first place? The band known for its wild lifestyle is what your fans loved. That’s what made you guys popular. Those videos that went viral of your shows. The stories about the destroyed hotel rooms.” 

“It wasn’t so much the destroyed hotel rooms that was the problem,” Seth answers, “it was the destroyed lives.” 

A small smile crosses Sonja’s face. “You mean Kate Fullers?” 

He clenches his jaw. It’s the first time he’s heard her name spoken out loud in months. “Yeah, I mean Kate's. She was just eighteen. And I brought her into this mess. Her brother wound up almost overdosing.” 

“Carlos Madrigal says it’s your fault. That the kid got into your stash.” 

Seth rolls his eyes. “He would, wouldn’t he? That would be too easy. Blame the junkie. Except good ol’ Carlos has been dealing for years. His connections were how he got us our record deal in the first place.” 

“So Carlos got the kid addicted?” 

He shakes his head. “Scott was never addicted. He didn’t touch the stuff, as far as I knew. Carlos wanted revenge for Santancio, our dancer, running off and marrying my brother Richie. He had hidden cameras all over the bus. Had a sex tape of him and Santanico that he’d been using to blackmail her for years. She has quite the voice and was never able to get a record deal because she couldn’t leave him.” 

“There were rumors that there was one of you and Kate too.” 

“Yeah, there was. That’s why the whole Scott overdose happened in the first place. Scott stole the tapes from Carlos so that he could destroy them. Carlos found out about it and drugged him.” 

“That was the end of everything? The band? Your relationship with Kate?” 

“I couldn’t be around someone that would endanger my family or my friends like that,” he said. 

“That’s a shame. Because people have been raving about your album. They want more. And then there’s talk of a Grammy.” 

Seth raises an eyebrow. “I haven’t heard anything about a Grammy. It wasn’t that great.” 

“Not for Los Hermanos Geckos,” Sonja corrects, “I’m talking about for you and Kate. For the song that you did. It’s been at number one for months. Sold millions of copies. That video of you signing it at your concert passed a Vevo record.” 

He clears his throat. “I don’t keep up with the outside world much these days. Especially not my ex-girlfriend.” 

“Well, the awards ceremony is coming up in February. You should give her a call. Maybe it will be a chance for you two to rekindle that old flame. Everyone says that you had amazing chemistry. Maybe you can convince her to sing again. You know her EP did well too. You’ve got an eye for talent it seems. Maybe you can look into managing after this is over.” 

“Maybe,” he says, “the award shows in February you say?” 

“Yep. Song of the year.” 

“Well I guess it’s a good thing someone let me know.” 

“I guess it is.” 

“Now I want to talk to you about your brother and-----“ 

The rest of the afternoon is spent discussing the scandal of Santanico and Richie’s elopement. With a few questions about the evolution of the band from playing night clubs to getting their record deal in the first place. Finally, she shakes his hand and the two part ways. 

A car waits to take him back to the rehab facility. He has no cell phone but he is itching to call Kate. To see if she is even going to the awards ceremony. And maybe she’ll want to go with him. 

Except that he hasn’t heard from her since the mess that was Chicago. It wasn’t for lack of trying. He spent a solid week, drunk, doing nothing but trying to get hold of her. Until finally Richie came to get him out of the hotel room. 

And, after getting into a fight that the hotel security cameras caught on tape and sold to the highest bidder, forced him into rehab. 

He gets back to the rehab center. It’s a white, modern building that overlooks the California coastline. The receptionist is an old woman that never smiles named Pam. 

“Afternoon, Pam,” he says, walking over to the desk, leaning up against it with a smirk across his face. 

She barely acknowledges him as she is too involved in the game of solitaire that she’s playing. “Back from your little outing into the real word I see Mr. Gecko. Have any illegal substances while you were away?” 

He shakes his head. “No ma’am. I was a good boy. And since I’ve been such a good boy I was wondering…do you think I could make a call?” 

The woman shakes her head. “Not a chance.” 

“C’mon, just this once.” 

She looks up at him. “I can’t bend the rules, son. You know what they are. Part of the process is no contact with outside influences that might hinder your recovery.” 

“But this wouldn’t be someone that would hinder my recovery. This would just be family.” 

“Uh-huh. Like your brother who ran off with that stripper?” 

He sighs. “Santanico was never a stripper. She had clothes on. There was a snake involved. It covered up parts.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“C’mon, it’s just one phone call. I’ll slip you a twenty.” 

“Nice try, handsome. Not a chance.” 

“How about if I slip you a fifty?” 

The woman raises an eyebrow. “Do you think so low of me?” 

Seth sighs. “You know if this receptionist thing doesn’t work out you’d make an excellent con woman.” He takes his wallet out from his pocket then slips her a hundred. 

The woman smiles. “I’m about to take a smoke break.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “You work at a rehab facility where people are struggling to recover from addiction.” 

“I know. How do you think I keep from drinking after putting up with people like you?” The receptionist gets up from her table and heads off, leaving it empty. Seth smiles then rounds the table to where the phone is. 

He dials a number that he’s been reluctant to call. “Santanico Pandemonium, as I live and breathe. You know it’s been way too long since we’ve had a call.” 

Santanico takes a breath on the other end of the phone call. “You know it’s Mrs. Gecko now, Seth.” 

“Yeah, I’ve seen you dance with a snake in your nether regions. Mrs. Gecko was my mother. I can’t call you that.” 

“What do you want, Seth?” 

“So you and Kate kind of bonded right?” 

There’s a pause. “In a manner of speaking, yes. What is it exactly that you want?” 

“I need her number. She hasn’t been returning my phone calls and the last time I tried to call her---“ 

“Six months ago?” 

“Yeah, six months ago after I got put into rehab her number had changed. Do you by chance have the new one?” 

“Seth, you’ve caused enough trouble in that girl’s life. You don’t need to do anything more to add to it. She’s back home. She just started college. You need to leave her alone.” 

“Look, it’s about our song. It’s got a chance to win a Grammy this year. I just want to see if she is going to the award ceremony. That’s it.” 

“You are in rehab. The last thing that you need is to be at an event like that.” 

“Hey, part of rehab is making amends. If there is anyone that I need to make amends with it is Kate.” 

“Or you are looking for an excuse to get back together with her.” 

“What? No. I’m not doing anything. I just want to check about the Grammy thing. It’s song of the year. We both took part of it. That’s it. Santanico, I swear. I don’t want to drag Kate into anything.” 

“Good. Because she has good grades right now and a nice boyfriend.” 

He clears his throat. “A boyfriend? What, like some frat boy?” 

“No, like a kid named Rafa who spends his summers in Mexico building churches.” 

“Ah, well. That’s great. Great for Kate. I’m glad that she is happy with a boyfriend named Rafa. You know. But I’m just interested in seeing her in a professional capacity. That is it.” 

Santanico sighs. “Fine. I will give you Kate’s number. But I swear if you derail that girl’s life again I will----“ 

“Yeah, yeah. Make me pay. I know. The number?” 

He gets the number just as the receptionist comes back in from her cigarette break. “Thanks, Pandemonium. You’re a goddess.” 

“Mrs. Gecko,” she corrects, “not Pandemonium.” 

The receptionist clears her throat. And Seth hangs up the phone before his sister-in-law can say anything more. He smiles back at Pam just as she takes a seat behind the desk again. 

“Hey,” he says, “if I were to give you another twenty---“ 

Pam glowers at him. “I had a certain red headed actress throw a cup at my head the other day. Also, it isn’t like you’re going anywhere. You are stuck in rehab. What do you need petty cash for? The vending machines don’t take hundreds.” 

He grabs his wallet again to rummage through it, pulling out another hundred to slip it to her. “I’ll be taking another smoke break then,” Pam says, and leaves him alone once more. 

Seth smiles then dials Kate’s number. “Hello?” 

His breath catches in his throat. 

“Hello?” Kate repeats. 

“Hey,” he says, “it’s me.” 

She doesn’t answer right away. But she doesn’t hang up either. “Hey. How’d you get my number?” 

“Santanico,” he answers. 

“Ah. I should have known better then to give it to a Gecko.” 

“Not a Gecko,” he corrects, “not even close to that. Listen. I was calling about our song.” 

“Oh. The Grammy. That’s right. Vanessa called me about that.” 

He grips the phone. “What do you mean Vanessa called you about that?” 

“Well, you never hired a new manager after you two broke up so the Grammy committee had to send your information to someone. They couldn’t send it to you because of the whole…. well….” 

“Rehab situation,” he tells her, “it’s okay. You can say it. It isn’t a dirty word.” 

“Yeah. Right. Rehab.” 

“Look, I just wanted to know if you were going. I pulled you into this. I wanted to be there for you to finish the whole thing.” 

“After that whole Scott thing, I realized that music wasn’t a lifestyle for me. I can’t get back into it again.” 

“It again. Or me again?” he asks. 

Kate takes a breath. “Seth…..I’m seeing someone, and you….you are reckless. You make me reckless.” 

“Well, let’s just go as friends then huh?” 

“You think that you can do that?” 

“I can do anything if I put my mind to it. Also another part of rehab.” 

“I guess if it’s just a friend thing then we can go. But that’s it. Just friends.” 

“Just friends. I can do that. I swear.” 

“Okay, then I guess that I’ll see you at the award show.” 

“See you then, Katie-cakes.” 

“Kate.” 

He laughs, and hangs up just as the receptionist comes back in. “Well?” the receptionist says. “You need to make a third phone call? You give me another hundred and I’ll be able to keep myself in cigarettes for months.” 

“Not a chance. I’m not an enabler.” 

“Well see if I’ll let you use the phone again.” 

Seth smiles then heads back to his room. He picks up his guitar that has been sitting in the corner for months and starts to play. 

Kate finds herself staring at the phone after talking to Seth. Months of nothing and then there was that phone call. “Katerina, where are you?” she glances up at Rafa, her boyfriend of the past few months whose smiling at her. 

She smiles up at him. They’re sitting in the University’s court yard. It’s winter, and a bit nippy out though it’s not cold enough for snow. “Sorry. I’m here. I swear.” 

He smiles at her. “I don’t think so. I can tell when you’re here. You’re not here. You’ve got that distant look in your eyes.” 

She sits up a little straighter. “You know how I told you about my summer?” 

“It’s a little hard to forget,” he admits, “I did know you because of the video clip.” 

“Yeah well….” She brushes back a strand of hair behind her ear. “I kind of got this call yesterday that was a little bit of a surprise….” 

Rafa raises an eyebrow. “From Seth Gecko?” 

Kate nods. “I haven’t called him in ages. I didn’t even know that he had my number. But he got it from my friend Santanico. And he was just telling me to let me know that our song got nominated for a Grammy.” 

Rafa grabs her hand, kissing it. “Katerina, that is amazing! That’s an outstanding honor. So many people dream about that. You have to go.” 

She shakes her head. “You don’t get it. When I’m around him he makes me act like someone I don’t even know. I did so many things with him that I wouldn’t have done if I’d been in my right mind. I signed a record deal. I was on tour with a rock group.” 

“Just because your relationship ended doesn’t mean that you should give up this chance. A Grammy is an amazing accomplishment. You should go.” 

“Are you sure?” Kate asks. “Because I think he’s going to want to go. It means that I’ll have to see him.” 

“I trust you,” Rafa says, “that’s all that matters. Besides, I’m certain that you could get another invite couldn’t you? I could come as your date.” 

She holds his hand. “That’s sweet, but I’ve seen Seth destroy hotel rooms. I don’t want to think about what would happen with you.” 

“Ah, good point.” 

“But don’t think that doesn’t mean that I won’t be dragging you to go dress shopping.” 

He smiles, and kisses her. “I will gladly come with you for that.” 

“Thank you.” 

The day after Seth talks to Kate he slips Pam another hundred so that he can make another phone call. “Well, well, well. Seth Gecko. As I live and breathe,” says Aiden Tanner as he picks up, “What can I do for you? Do you have my money yet?” 

“You know that I made that money back for you with the Los Hermanos Geckos album,” he answers. “So I’m calling for a favor.” 

“After all of the trouble that you put me through?” 

“It’s just a tiny favor.” 

“What is it Gecko?” 

“I want you to call Kate and request that she perform with me at the Grammy’s. Actually, not request. Request means that there is an option to get out of it. I want you to say that it was part of her contract or something. Tell her that she will owe you money if she doesn’t or something.” 

“You bought her out of her contract Gecko,” he says, “I have no control over that girl anymore. She’s someone else’s headache.” 

“Well, then tell her that I owe you money. She doesn’t know that I’ve gotten out of my contract yet.” 

“You’re awfully sure aren’t you?” Tanner says. “Well, I’ll try but I can’t make any promises. Besides, what makes you so sure she’ll help you?” 

“She’s Kate. She’d help the devil if he asked nicely.” 

“Alright, alright. I’ll see what I can do.” 

“Thanks, Tanner.” 

“Sure thing. But you owe me Gecko. And I’ll be coming to collect.” 

“Of course.” 

Kate should have known that Seth calling wouldn’t be the last call that she got from the music world. She’s in the store trying on dresses for the award show when she gets another call. 

“Hello?” 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t little Katie-cakes.” She cringes at the sound of Aiden Tanner’s voice. 

“Hello, Tanner.” 

“Hello, Miss Fuller. I understand that you’ve been nominated for a Grammy for song of the year. Congratulations.” 

“I seem to be getting a lot of calls about that recently,” she says, “thank you. I won’t be signing another record deal though. I’m perfectly happy going to college. I’m majoring in Religious Studies.” 

“That’s nice. That’s very nice. But I’m actually calling about a certain someone that we have in common.” 

Kate sighs. “What does Seth want now?” 

“It isn’t so much what Seth wants. It’s what I want. I want the money that Seth owes me. Now, people that perform at the Grammys get a nice, little fee. A little fee that would more than cover the expenses that little Gecko owes me.” 

“You mean to tell me that Seth owes you money?” 

“Yes. A lot of it. That would more than be covered by that little performance fee.” 

She grits her teeth. She feels like she’s been punched in the gut. “I should have known this was about money. It’s always about what he wants.” 

“Actually, it’s about what I want which is my money. Now, if you would like Seth Gecko out of your life once and for all you will perform at the Grammys with him.” 

“Alright, alright. I’ll perform at this stupid thing. But after this I don’t want anything to do with you or anymore rock stars. Got that?” 

“Got it,” he answers, “you’ve made me a very, very happy label head, Katie-cakes.” 

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, you don’t get to call me that.” She hangs up the phone, letting out a tiny scream. There’s a knock on the door. 

“Katerina?” Rafa’s voice asks from the other side. “Is everything alright?” 

Kate opens the door. “This isn’t about the award. This is about money that he owes to our former record label head. Seth needs money and if we perform at the Grammy’s he’ll get the money that he needs.” 

“Ah,” says Rafa. 

“Ah is right,” Kate says, “I shouldn’t go. I should just let Seth find some other way to get his money. I’m done with him. I’m tired of cleaning up his messes.” 

“Did he say anything about the money when he called you before?” 

She bites her lip. “No.” 

“Then maybe this isn’t about the money for him. Maybe he generally wants to try to make amends with you. Besides, wouldn’t the Christian thing be for you to forgive him?” 

Kate opens up the door to the dressing room. “You have to be the only person in the world that would pressure his girlfriend to go meet up with her ex, rock star boyfriend right?” 

He smiles. “I trust you. Besides, we’re supposed to help those that cannot help themselves. I know you, Katerina. You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you didn’t help Seth out of this situation.” 

She leans up against the door-jam of the dressing room. “You know I was finally starting to take care of myself. I was happy.” 

“There’s nothing wrong with helping friends. That’s all that he is. Right?” 

“Right,” she answers. 

“Then I don’t see the problem. Just help out your friend. It’s what you would do anyway.” 

“Okay. Okay.” 

“One night of playing rock star never hurt anyone.” He grabs her hand. “And you should get that dress. You look lovely in red.” 

Kate grins. “Oh, do I?” 

“You do.” 

“Because I wasn’t done trying things on. I’ve still got a few others. And I could use some help getting the dress off.” 

“I would gladly help with that.” Rafa steps inside the dressing room, kissing her bare shoulder, making her groan. 

That is until she notices the music that’s playing in the store. “I fell for you like a child, oh but the fire went wild…” Kate pulls away and lets out a tiny scream. Somewhere, the universe is laughing at her. She’s almost certain of it.


	12. Brotherly Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie helps convince Kate to visit Seth in rehab.

Chapter Twelve 

She arrives in Los Angeles by herself. Three days before the award show. Rafa stays behind for his own good because Kate doesn’t want Seth getting into a fight with him. Being back in the city is strange after the last time. She’s half tempted to go to The Viper Room to where everything started but the closest she gets is passing it on the taxi ride to her hotel. 

When the taxi stops, she pays the driver then gets out with her luggage. Her hotel is in downtown in a modern building where everything is visible from the large, glass windows. In the hotel lobby, there’s a fountain with dolphins spitting water complete with pennies thrown in. Classical music plays softly in the background. 

She goes to the check-in counter where a skinny, pale main smiles at her. “Kate Fuller?” he asks. 

She smiles. “Yeah, that’s me.” 

“There’s a message for you. It’s from a Mr….Gecko?” 

The smile on her face falls. “What did he want?” 

“He just wanted to leave his number. He’s staying at the Dew Drop Rehab Clinic.” 

“Dew Drop Rehab Clinic,” Kate repeats, “are you sure?” 

“Positive. I took down the number for you.” The man passes it to her on a sheet of hotel stationary. 

“Thanks. Is my room set up?” 

“You’ll be staying in room 173,” the man says, slipping her the key, “enjoy your stay with us Miss Fuller.” 

“Thank you.” She smiles again, heading to the elevator with the key and the phone number in her pocket. For two small objects they seem like rocks weighing her down. 

When she finally does arrive to her room, she isn’t the least bit surprised to find a Gecko there. Except that it isn’t Seth. Instead, its Richie, wearing his standard suit and smiling. The only thing different about him is that his glasses are gone. “God damn it Richie!” she says, dropping her bags on the floor. “Does he have a locator device on me or something? I didn’t even tell him I was staying here.” 

“Santanico told me and I told him,” Richie confesses with a grin. 

She sighs. “Of course you did.” 

“He’s getting better Kate. He isn’t so selfish anymore.” 

 

“I’m here to get an award. I am not here to worry about the well-being of Seth Gecko,” she replies. 

“Good. Because I’m not here to talk about Seth. I’m here to congratulate my friend whose nominated for an amazing award.” He squeezes her shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Kate.” 

“Well, thanks Richie. I wouldn’t have been nominated without you.” 

“I had nothing to do with the cover. That was all you and---“ 

She grits her teeth. “Let’s make a deal. From now on, we’re only going to talk about you. Or Santanico. Every minute that you talk about Seth you are going to have to take a drink from something in my mini-fridge.” 

He frowns. “How is that fair?” 

“Life’s not fair, Richard.” 

“You are so Seth’s soulmate.” 

Kate pats him on the shoulder. “You are going to drink up, Richie.” She opens up the hotel room and pushes the younger Gecko inside. 

Richie lets out a whistle. “Swanky. Look at you, staying in style.” 

“Thanks. The record company paid for it since I’m doing the performance thing.” She plops her suitcase down in the corner then sits on the edge of her bed to take her shoes off. 

“I’m kind of surprised you agreed to that.” 

“Look, we might not be on the best terms right now but I would do anything I could to help him. He’s still important to me.” 

“I don’t get it then. Why’d you break up?” he asks. “Things were going so well last I saw you.” 

“You are going to have to drink,” Kate says, getting up off the bed. 

“Hey! That doesn’t count,” he objects, “you were talking about something relating him.” 

“I talked about the performance.” She opens up the mini fridge and takes out a bottle of champagne. “So you are going to drink.” 

“You are underage. I can’t abide by this.” 

“Who said I’m drinking? You’re the only one that’s going to drink.” 

“But that’s not fair,” he insists. 

“Life isn’t fair, Richie.” She hands him the wine bottle. “Now drink.” 

He scowls. “Alright, alright.” He grabs the bottle from her, hitting it against the hotel room table to get it to open. “I can handle champagne. It’s for fucking sissies anyway.” 

“We’ll just see about that won’t we?” she smirks. “Drink up.” 

Richie takes a swig of it. “You know that you are just avoiding the inventible.” 

“I’m in a relationship, Richie. And I don’t want to talk about this anymore. How’s Santanico?” 

He grins. “She’s doing great actually. Ever since the band split up she’s been focusing on her music again. She’s even got a few labels interested. I suggested she sign with Tanner but she just blanched at the idea.” 

“Smart woman,” Kate agrees, “Tanners a moron.” 

“You know she brought up something a while ago. We were just kind of bouncing ideas off of each other. And at first we thought about starting a group but I can’t sing for shit. Also, I like directing things more anyway. I’m not a front man kind of guy. But you know…she did think that maybe you two would make a good girl group.” 

Kate sits on the floor, leaning up against the bed. Richie sits down next to her with the champagne bottle in his hand. “What do you think?” he asks. “Would you be interested?” 

She sighs. “That rock-star lifestyle…..it nearly destroyed my parents. I’m not exactly equipped to deal with it. With my sleeping disorder it just wouldn’t be a good idea to go down that road again.” 

“But you were good at it Kate. People weren’t just showing up to see us. They were showing up to see you too.” 

“They were showing up to see Seth,” she corrects, “he’s got the real talent. If you want to get a band together with Santanico that’s who you should have in it.” 

Richie smirks, passing her the champagne bottle. “Drink up.” 

“Hey!” she objects. “I’m too young, remember?” 

“I didn’t make up the rules. You did. You talked about my brother. Now pay the price.” 

She frowns, then takes a swig. “Tastes like expensive piss.” 

He grins. “That’s something that Seth would say.” 

Kate grins in return, passing him the bottle as Richie groans before he takes a swig of it. “I think we’re both going to fail at this game,” she tells him. 

“I think so too,” he agrees. 

She hiccups a little. “Do you think that he meant it?” 

“Meant what?” 

“That I was responsible for the groups breakup.” 

There’s a moment where the only sound they can hear is the traffic from the street down below. Richie places his hand over hers. “I’m certain that he didn’t mean it.” 

“Well, someone told the press that. And since he was the one that confirmed everything it had to be him.” 

“Or Tanner and his publicity goons. They did use me as Seth’s rehab cover for years you know.” 

Kate bites her lip. “I thought what we had was more than a publicity stunt. I really did. Or more than a fling. And then the press release came out and suddenly I’m Yoko Ono. I’ve been called that so many damn times.” 

“You’re not Yoko. You had nothing to do with the breakup. The breakup happened because Carlos is a psychopath. You were just the first person that made us see it. Nothing says unhealthy like having a drug dealer around a pair of young adults.” 

“Scott wasn’t an adult,” Kate says, “he’s just a boy. And I should have been paying more attention to him then the guy that was trying to use me.” 

Richie takes another swig of the champagne. “I know things have a habit of falling through the cracks when it comes to my brother. I’ve been on the receiving end of that. And it sucks. But Kate, you are not responsible for what happened with Scott. The only person responsible is Carlos. So you’ve got to stop punishing yourself. You’ve got to stop punishing him. Just give him a chance to explain things.” 

“He’s the King of Bullshit. What’s there to explain?” 

“The reasons behind all the bullshit,” he answers, “which I’m pretty sure just boils down to he still loves you and he always will.” 

She sighs. “Richie.” 

“I know. I know. Drink.” He drinks up the remains of the champagne. “That really was a terrible idea.” 

“Definitely. You shouldn’t drive. You should just stay here.” 

He burps. “Excuse me,” he apologizes, then adds, “are you sure you’re okay with that?” 

“It’ll be fine,” Kate answers. 

 

“If you want I can take you to the rehab center in the morning. It might be good to clear the air before you two have to take the stage. I can talk about my brother’s feelings but I know it won’t mean shit to you unless it actually comes from him.” 

She takes the empty bottle from his hand and places it to the side. “I guess it couldn’t hurt. But you’ve got to promise me one thing.” 

“What’s that?” 

“The minute I start freaking out, you get me out of there.” 

“No problem. Should we have a code word?” 

“How about Cheyenne?” 

Richie squints at her for a few seconds before breaking out into laughter. “Two sides of the same coin, Jesus Christ.” He doesn’t elaborate much more and Kate doesn’t think that she wants him to. 

Somehow, they spend the whole night talking to each other. It’s as if no time has passed at all. And when morning finally does come, it comes too soon. Because Kate has to face the music. There’s no running from it now.


	13. Not According To Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth reunites with Kate but things don't go as expected.

Chapter Thirteen   
Seth is in his room playing his guitar when there is a knock on the door. “Come in,” he says. The door opens revealing Pam, the receptionist. 

“You’ve got visitors,” she tells him, “some guy in a suit and a pretty little brunette.” 

He smiles. “I’ll see him.” 

“Alright then. They’re out waiting for you in the lobby.” 

“Why didn’t you just show them to my room?” 

“What do I look like? A maid?” 

 

“Ah, right,” he says, “I’ll show them myself.” 

“Mhmm.” She gives him a knowing look and heads out of the room. Seth follows after her to find both Richie and Kate waiting for him in the lobby. He raises an eyebrow after noticing that his brother’s glasses are gone. 

“Hey Richie, where’s the specs?” 

Richard smiles. “Santanico convinced me to get contacts. Turns out I actually like them.” 

“Nice,” he says, patting him on the shoulder. He glances at Kate who stands off to the side with her hands shoved in her pockets as she bites her lip. “Hey.” 

“Hey Seth.” 

They both smile awkwardly at each other. Richie clears his throat. “Well, as fun as this whole standing in silence thing is I can’t stay. I was just Kate’s ride. I’ve got to meet with some record companies that are interested in Santanico.” 

“No, Richie, you should stay,” Kate insists, “you haven’t seen your brother in a long time. I’m sure you’ve got plenty to catch up on.” 

“Actually, Richie came just last week,” Seth says, “he’s been pretty good about visiting. If you’ve got meetings to go to brother don’t you worry about me. Just don’t forget about Kate here.” 

“Don’t worry. As if I’d leave her in your clutches. We even have a code word.” 

“Don’t worry. I’ll be on my best behavior.” He smirks at Kate and is pleased when he notices how fast she blushes. He can still affect her. That’s a good sign. 

“I didn’t think you know what that was,” she shoots back. 

Richie smiles. “That’s my cue to leave.” 

He slips out of the rehab clinics front door leaving the two of them alone. Seth steps forward. “Did you do something different with your hair?” 

She shrugs. “It’s the same as its always been.” 

The receptionist takes a loud sip from her cup of coffee, making him wince. “You two are squirrely and awkward,” she says, “I’m supposed to send you out to the back deck. You’re not allowed to have visitors inside your rooms. They don’t want any funny business yet.” 

He clears his throat and glances back at Pam. “Look, we’ve got to perform a show tomorrow. I even got special permission from the head doctor. Can’t you please just let us rehearse in my room? We won’t bother anyone.” 

“Outside,” Pam answers. 

Seth sighs. “You want to go rehearse outside?” 

She runs her hand through her hair. “You really want to pretend that this is about rehearsal?” 

“Maybe I just want to make you sing again,” he quips, a half smile on his face.

Kate shakes her head, wrinkling her nose. “I thought I was supposed to be the young one. Yet you’re the one that’s acting immature. I didn’t come all of this way to start things with you again.” 

“Alright, alright,” he says, “I was just trying to make things nice and polite. You want to go outside?” 

“Sounds good to me.” She gestures to the back door. Seth leads them outside to the patio where there’s a table and a few chairs that overlook the ocean. He pulls one out for her. Kate hesitantly sits, folding her hands in her lap. He takes the seat across from her. 

“Six months,” he says, “how ya been Kate?” 

She glances out at the ocean. Oh good. She’s going to ignore him. Nothing about this is going how he pictured it. “How have I been?” she says in almost a whisper. “Seth, if you aren’t going to try to at least be serious I’m not going to waste my time.” 

“I’m generally curious,” he tells her, “I heard that you started school.” 

“I did.” 

“What are you majoring in?” 

She gives him a ‘screw you’ look. He’d forgotten how much he missed that look. But she doesn’t seem to care how much he’s missed it because she’s getting up to leave. Seth stands and quickly steps in front of her. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I’m not trying to be an asshole. I just….I don’t know what you think. I don’t know what you want to know.” 

Kate puts her hand on her hip. “You want to know what I want?” 

“Yes. I would love that.” 

“I want to know what the hell I was to you. Was I just some sort of game? Was I a way for you to lick your wounds until you got over Vanessa? Was it a publicity stunt for the band? Or are you just that twisted? That you thought it would be fun to take a young girls heart and stomp it out while ruining the one other thing she loved?” 

“Kate I---“ 

She puts her hand up. “Don’t give me any bullshit. Just give me answers. Something resembling the truth if you don’t want me to leave.” 

“It wasn’t a stunt,” he answers, “and you weren’t a way for me to get over Vanessa. Vanessa and I were never supposed to be together. We were nothing but a chaotic mess.” 

“We were a chaotic mess,” she reminds him, “what makes the two of us any different?” 

“Because I didn’t care about changing for her. I did care about changing for you. Richie had to drag me here kicking and screaming. I only stayed because he convinced me it was the only way to get you back. That I had to put myself back together again to prove that I didn’t need someone to take care of me. And I’m ready. I’m ready to be the kind of person that can take care of you, Kate.” 

She stares at him blankly. “Oh my god! I don’t care. I didn’t care that you were a mess. I can handle your messes. I got swept into this world of rock-star craziness and got kicked out of it like I was nothing but a groupie piece of trash.” 

“You were not a groupie piece of trash.” He places his hands on either one of her shoulders. “Kate, you made me want to be better. No one has ever made me want to do that before.” 

“Great. I made the guitarist want to stop being a junkie. So happy to oblige. I’ll be sure to let the asshole frat boys at my school know that so they’ll stop calling me Penny Lane.” 

He shoves his hand in his pockets. “Are you getting called Penny Lane?” 

“They wrote it on my dorm room door during the first week,” she confesses, “one of the guys in my religious studies class saw me cleaning it. He helped me.” 

Seth hangs his head. “That’d be the boyfriend?” 

She nods. “He’s nice. He builds churches with charities.” 

“Ah, they’ll be giving him a saint hood any day now.” 

She scowls. “Well at least he hasn’t broken up any bands lately. Or hearts.” 

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for…” 

Kate’s staring past him again. Her gaze is focused on the ocean. A cool breeze blows a strand of hair into her face that he pushes back. The gesture makes his fingers graze her cheek and she stiffens, her green eyes finally looking up to meet his. “What are you sorry for?” she asks. 

“Everything,” he tells her, “I’m sorry about everything. I shouldn’t have ended things with you that way. I could have handled it all a lot better than I did.” 

“Yes, you could have. Seth if you had just explained everything that was going on I could have helped you.” 

“All I knew was that the one thing I was good at had suddenly gone up in flames. I figured if I wasn’t good enough for that then I sure as hell wasn’t good enough for you. I didn’t think that you should be around me.” 

She sighs. “That wasn’t your choice to make. I was part of that relationship too. We were finally a real couple and then you ran us off of the road.” 

He reaches up and cups her face with his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m so used to things being taken away from me. I’m not used to them staying.” 

“You didn’t give me the chance to stay. If you wanted company, all you had to do was ask. That’s all you ever have to do.” 

“Well, I want some company,” Seth confesses. 

“It’s too late. I’m with someone that I really like. I’m also not breaking up with them just because you ramble into my life again with an apology. There’s too much that’s been done okay?” 

“We’ve shared something that no other two people have. There’s chemistry between us, Kate. You can’t deny that! The whole worlds seen it. The whole world knows it. And there’s no point in the two of us trying to deny it. You might have a boyfriend but he’s not me.” 

“Exactly!” she shouts. 

The door to the clinic opens, revealing a suspicious Pam. “Everything alright out here?” 

“Everything’s fine, Pam,” the two shout, and the receptionist looks at them skeptically before she shuts the door. She does, however, make certain that the blinds are open and peers out at them. 

The two of them stand there staring at each other like a pair of lions in a standoff, eyeing the other. Kate hangs her head then steps forward, placing a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I just mean….” 

He puts his hand up. “No. You’re right. You deserve someone more stable. Someone that you’re not looking out for all the time.” 

“It isn’t that. It’s that we look out for each other. He wanted to come but I wouldn’t let him.” 

Seth grits his teeth. “Aren’t you a regular Mother Teresa?” 

“Well, I figured you’d beat the crap out of him you saw him.” 

“The old Seth would,” he says, “but the new Seth would congratulate you two on being in a happy, healthy relationship.” 

“You just told me we had chemistry that no one could deny.” 

He scuffs his feet on the patio floor. “Okay. Okay. Maybe you’re with him now and maybe you’re happy with him for now. But you and I both know that once we sing you are going to forget all about Raja.” 

“Rafa,” she corrects, shooting him a glare. “And I won’t forget about him. No matter how much you do your whole song and dance routine with your razzle dazzle. I was trying to do something nice by coming here. Tanner told me that you owed him money and that if we performed your debts would be paid. But trust me Seth, the moment that this show is over I’ll be going home. And you are never going to see me again.” 

“I can’t lose you Kate,” he whispers, “without you I don’t have anything.” 

She reaches up and places her hand on his cheek, a small smile on her face. “You’ve got a lot more than you think, Seth Gecko. You just have to know where to look.” 

“I’m looking at the only thing that I want,” he answers. 

The young woman pulls her hand back. “Look, if you want a friend I can be that for you. But we can’t be us again. I just can’t risk the chance that I’m going to get burned another time.” 

“I’ve changed!” 

“I know, I know. And that is why I think that you should stay away from me too. Because I don’t want you to get burned by me either.” 

He puts his hands up in exasperation. “Kate, c’mon!” 

“I’m sorry. I just can’t.” She starts to head for the door, pausing just before she leaves to look back at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the rehearsal okay?” 

Seth opens his mouth to speak to find that he is speechless for maybe the second time in his life all thanks to Kate Fuller. He watches as she goes unable to think of a way to make her stay but desperately wanting her too. It’s as if she is starting to turn into a ghost before his eyes. 

But he heads to the receptionist desk anyway and smiles politely at Pam. The older woman smirks at him. “For someone with such a pretty face, you sure do have a terrible time with the ladies.” 

He glares. “Don’t even get me started. Listen can I talk you into letting me make another call?” 

“I don’t think your friend really wanted to talk to you.” 

“I’m not calling her,” he insists, “I’m calling someone about a business related thing.” 

Pam sighs. “Hand over the hundred and I’ll take another smoke break.” 

He fishes one out from his wallet, sliding it over to her and then dials Tanners number. 

“What in the damn hell do you want, Gecko? I thought that I was done with you after this whole thing.” 

“I need one more favor.” 

“Your favors are really starting to pile up. What do you want this time?” 

“I need you to get me another performing spot at the Grammy’s. There’s something that I want to do. Something that I need to do. And if you do it, it will give you publicity for my new solo album.” 

“Your new solo album?” Tanner says. “You got material for a solo album?” 

“I’ve been in rehab for six months,” he reminds him. 

“Well, well, well….I guess I caught myself a Gecko. Alright, you’ve got yourself a deal. I’ll send over the paperwork first thing in the morning. This had better be one hell of a Grammy performance, Mr. Gecko.” 

“Oh don’t worry,” Seth says, “it will be.”


	14. We're gonna be okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate finally makes up with Seth.

Chapter Fourteen   
He picks the song with care. The Johnny Cash thing had been spur of the moment. And he’d been lucky enough that she’d known the words. He could write one but he doesn’t think that he could put everything he feels for Kate into words. It would probably fall short. 

The song he picks is a Buck Cherry one. 

He heard it on the radio a while back and every time he hears it he thinks of Kate. He just has to make sure that Kate actually stays for the performance that he doesn’t do anything to piss her off in that time. 

That’s going to be trickier. 

The day of the Grammy’s, they have to arrive at the award show early for the dress rehearsals. Kate arrives wearing jeans and a t-shirt, with no makeup on, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. He tries getting near her just to talk but she avoids him. 

Every time he tries to go near her she starts talking with someone. Including one guy Seth is pretty sure was an intern that was just getting coffee. 

Finally, he has to resort to drastic measures. 

He breaks into her dressing room using his credit card. 

Kate is sitting on her couch talking on her cell phone when he enters. She jumps up, dropping it on the table. “What the hell is this Seth?” 

“We’ve got to talk,” he says. 

She crosses her arms. “We talked yesterday. It went about as well as can be expected. I don’t really want a repeat of that. You can walk out the way that you came.” 

“I don’t want to walk out the way that I came. I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you because I said all of the wrong things yesterday. I was an idiot. I know what I need to say now.” 

“You know what you need to say now?” 

“I know what I want to say,” he corrects, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I never should have broken up with you that way. I shouldn’t have broken up with you at all. We had started something and it was good.” 

“It was very good,” she agrees, “and you shouldn’t have broken up with me like that but we’re not together now.” 

“No we’re not,” he says, “but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop fighting for you, Kate. You’re the one that I want. You’re everything that I’ve wanted. You make me better. And we’re better together.” 

She doesn’t say anything. She just stares past him for far too long. Then she picks up her cell phone. “Rafa, I’m sorry about that. He just came in. I couldn’t stop him even if I tried. That’s just how he is.” 

She gestures to the door. 

He sighs, and leaves her alone. Maybe he should have done that to begin with. He’ll be surprised if she even shows up for their performance that night. He heads out of the dressing room, closing the door on the way out. 

He is about to walk away when the door to the dressing room opens. Kate leans against the frame. “You shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I’m sorry, but I meant what I said. I’m not going to stop fighting for you. I take what I want and you’re what I want, Kate.” 

“I didn’t mean the speech. I meant breaking into the room. I was in the middle of the private conversation. You can’t just do that you know? It’s called not being an asshole. If you had just waited---“

“Oh, if I had just waited what? You’ve been avoiding me all day.” 

“Because I was trying to decide if I was going to break up with Rafa on my own,” she says, “but you don’t have to worry about that anymore. You did that for me.” 

“Kate, I’m---“ 

“Don’t pretend to be sorry. This is what you wanted isn’t it?” 

“Not like this.” 

“Go to hell, Seth. Go to hell.” 

“Kate----“ 

She slams the door on him, locking it. He hangs his head and goes back to his own dressing room. He wants to make the performance mean something. He wants to make it so great that she’ll take him back. But somehow he doesn’t think that performing in front of thousands will mean as much as he wants it to. 

Seth picks his guitar up, strapping it onto him and begins to play as he walks in the direction of Kate’s dressing room. A tiny crowd gathers as he plays the Buck Cherry song, a surprisingly cheery little melody. 

It takes a few seconds for Kate to open her door, as he sings, “Miss you all the time, Underneath a stormy sky, You take away the rain, And leave me with a sunny day, Stay here by your side, And never let you go now…….” 

He finishes the song, to applause from the small crowd gathered around them. Kate stands there glaring at him with her brilliant, green eyes. He doesn’t mind being glared at by her just as long as he gets to look at her. 

“That’s what I should have said,” he tells her. 

Kate steps out from behind the door. He winces instinctively, thinking that she just might slap him. Except she doesn’t slap him. “You are a moron.” 

He smirks. “I’m aware, sweetheart. But I happen to be in love with you, Kate. And I’m not going anywhere. You got that?” 

“I got that.” 

She glances around at the crowd of people and to Seth’s surprise, she pulls him in by his shirt. Seth locks the door behind them. 

“We can’t just pick up where we left off,” she says, “too much has happened.” 

“I don’t want to pick up where we left off. I’m not the same person that I was then. I just need to know that you and me….” 

“We’re okay,” she says, “we’re okay.” 

She stands on her tip toes, wrapping her arms around his neck, and kisses him. Seth picks her up and carries her to the couch. “Yeah, we’re gonna be okay sweetheart,” he agrees. And he believes it for the first time in a long time. 

Because as long as he has her, he's always going to be okay. 

Fin.


End file.
